11th times a charm??

So, as you can see, i found out that I am pregnant on April 11th. It took me a week to see the doctor because i was doing the wait and see approach, I only lasted a week before i saw him and he confirmed that I am pregnant again. My HCG level was at 3031, which apparently is quite high for 19dpo. I hate to get excited, but can't help it, everytime i have a little pain i hold my breath. I will keep you all updated on how things are going, as of today I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I have all the typical symptoms, and they get stronger everyday. Wish me luck, i think i might need it :).

New Start

I am ready again. I finished off my last pill on February 19th. Which means that I begin a new cycle. A fresh cycle. We went to our last break appointment on Feb 27th, where we found out that there is nothing really stopping us from TTC again. There are no chromesomal problems, and no defect, DH was cleared as a carrier for Angelmans, and that leaves us to where we are now. The RFC won't see us because I can get pregnant, and don't need assistance, and there is nothing basically wrong with me, other then the PCOS. But there are millions of women out there that have PCOS and babies. We chalked it up to keep on trying and never stop until it happens. Our doctor told us that this month is the best one to try since we are just comming off the pill, that my eggs will be rearing to go. Wish us luck, ill keep you all updated.

Life is so amazing

I wanted to share that I got to watch a child be brought to this world. My best friend of ten years let me be involved in the birth of her new baby girl! Alexis was born on January 24th, 2008 @ 10:31pm. Her mother Meloney was induced after 39 weeks due to Alexis not gaining anymore weight. The experience was amazing. Meloney was induced with Oxytocin at about 8:00pm, and the contractions started to go one on top of the other by 9:30pm. After holding her hand for an hour she screamed "the baby is comming!!!" The doctor came in, rolled Mel on to her back, and wham! this precious tiny baby was born. She was born at 5lbs and 1/4oz. So tiny, but so very much alive. Thank you Meloney for letting me be apart of such an amazing event.

Todays are always brighter then yesterdays

I am in a good mood, scratch that, fantastic mood, for the first time in a VERY long time. Life is good for me right now. I have been on the "pill" for 2 weeks now, and I have no thoughts of getting pregnant right now. It is nice to not have that on my mind all the time. I got myself a job at a clothing store, part time, and it is a fantastic job. I get a 50% discount. The hours work out in my favour. I also have some other stuff going on too. My Best friend is 6 months pregnant, and we are preparing for her delivery, which i will be apart of. I also have an appointment with out local genetic's lab to make some progress as to why we keep having miscarriages. I am also happy to say that I have lost a total of 80lbs in the last 8 months. Feeling good looking good. Thought I would share that :).

Sheena

Over and over again

Well, that was short lived. I had my 8 wk scan on Aug 30th, and discovered that I had a silent m/c at 6 wks. It was weird. I had all these symptomes still, yet, I was no longer pregnant. I am getting pretty tired of all of this. I am at 10 losses now. Diagnosed with Unexplained Recurrent Loss Syndrom. Its a pain in the ass. I had a D&C on Sept 5th. In that, it was a tramatic experience. My last D&C was done at emerg. so i didnt really know what was going on, this time it was the waiting, and the antisipation, and I literally freaked out so bad I had to be knocked out.
They are doing fetal Karyotyping this time to see if there are any genetic or chromosomal abnormalities. But that will take 3 months to get back. We were also told that we need to take a 6 month break to see what going on, and create a plan of action. I think we need it. I already feel like i have a big piece of my life back. I have basically devoted the last 3 years solely to getting pregnant. So now...I am lost. I have no idea what to do. As if a big piece of me is missing. I am sure I will get over all of this, but its hard, as it is every time.
I start the pill tomorrow...Hurray! 28 day cycles!

Positive pregnancy test

Here we go again. A positive test, 48 days after my miscarriage. I have never gotten pregnant right after a miscarriage before. So hopefully this one will work out.

Pos test Aug 9, 2007

Life choices.

heres a little bit more about me.

I get a lot of flack about this, and sometimes it bothers me, but to get it out there might make someone understand something that I don't see that they arent getting...haha long run on sentence.

I have a child, I know his name, I know where he is, I know how tall he is, that he is smart, growing well...etc. "Then where is he?" Well, I placed him for open adoption.

You can think about me however you want, but remember that it was my decision, and in the end, I know it was the right one.

Nick is 5 now....Wow, that is so hard to believe that so many years have passed since that day, that i still remember as well as yesterday. When he was born, he was so perfect, 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes, perfect apgar score, a little bit of a crowned head..lol. He was 7 lbs 14 oz, and born at 12:02 in the morning on February 7, 2002. I had so many visitors, people who were weary of visting me, not knowing whether I was going to crack and throw them all out. I really enjoyed my experience. I had a God aweful pregnancy, and at 17, you have no idea what to expect. I had decided on adoption when i was 5 months pregnant. Why? There are so many reasons why. My age, that was a big issue, my life style, not that i did drugs or anything, but I wasnt done yet. My boyfriend and I had recently broken up, and he had already made plans with his life that i didnt want to interfear with, but i did tell him my choice, and he agreed with me. I was also on birthcontrol, but apparently you can become more fertile on birthcontrol when you are lacking the hormones anyway...(if only i knew then what i know now).
My father was a big influence in my adoption, but i was the one who said the final say, but he had sat me down and made me realise what i may be getting myself into. I was scared, as any pregnant teen was. I have no regrets about this, I know where he is, what hes doing, his health, his lifestyle, and i tell you what, I am so proud of that boy, how smart he is...just amazes me.
The only thing i wish is that i was more involved in his life, but that is my decisison, and with all the defficulty with trying to concieve, I really hold a strong part of my heart for him, but it is difficult.
A lot of people ask me "Since you are having such a problem with infertility, why did you give him up?" Remember though, 5 years have passed, I am married now, have a life with my husband, who want to be a father as bad as i want to be a mother, it has to do with timing, and the obvious fact, that i didnt know that i would never have another baby at the time. Sometimes, i wonder if i am being punished or tested, but really, i just think its all about timing.. Again, i will never give up trying to have another child, but at the same time, i don't regret any life choices I have or had made.