What a tangled web we weave

Wow, so much going on lately, its unreal. My husband started a new job this week, and it has been incredibly difficult on all of us, I am so use to him doing the bedtime routine for Isaac, and so was Isaac, that the transition has been incredibly difficult on Isaac and I. He is getting used to it, but its still challenging. It is also lonely eating dinner alone. As it was the only meal my husband and I ever really ate together.
I went off my post part um medication this past week too, and I never realised that I could be addicted to a legal substance. The withdrawls have not helped with the transitions this week, however, my moods have stabilized somewhat. I know that in time things will return to normal, but its a drastic change for all of us right now, and I really hate change.
I was on the road to wanting to have another baby, but have since changed my mind. If we are blessed enough to have another baby, then I am all for having another baby, but as for trying, medicating myself, going through emotional hell... It really isn't healthy for anyone, and Isaac is very much the baby in the family, that I would like to give him the chance to be.
I have started this herbal medicine kick lately. I am really against medications that cause such problems like Anti-depressants, that I think herbal is the way to go. With Isaac being so young too, there really is no option when he is sick, and he tends to get sick quite often. I don't mean for everything though, obviously if he were sick enough to need anti-biotics I would never deny him that, but for things like cold relief of teething pains, etc, herbal is the way to go.
Isaac has turned into a mighty firecracker. He chats non stop, has a very large vocabulary, and is starting to put words together, like "no done" for not done, and things of the same. He is 31.5 inches tall. He thinks that anything he puts up to his ear is a phone, even a piece of paper. He is starting to walk alone, meaning that we can actually take him to the mall and not worry that he is going to run away. Although I still bring the stroller just-in-case. And he has used the potty a few times. We aren't quite serious on the potty training frontier yet, but we have introduced it to him, and he has gone a few times, making me very proud.
That is about all right now, it has been a while since an update. I hope it finds you well.

Talk Talk Talk Talk

Isaac has started (and has yet to stop) talking! He doesnt quite grasp what he is saying, but is mimicing like crazy! He blabbers too, non stop, its so cute. The other morning (5am) I awoke to him singing in his crib.
Having a toddler is not as bad as I thought, its getting easier.

Le Sigh.

Alright, I have to admit that I am scared of toddlers. They scare the bejebus out of me! They are like small people that have attitude and talk back, they hit and you can't hit them back. Ok....So Isaac is going to be a toddler. I honestly can not say that I will be scared of him because I still see him as that tiny little baby I gave birth to a year ago.
Isaac is walking, attempting to talk and dance. He makes me laugh and smile everyday, and laitly, cry a little too. I am losing my baby, he is going to be 1!
Ikes dad and I discussed having another child recently, but I think the urge was more of missing the small quiet person I had in the house, when really, if you think about the logic, I would have to attempt to get pregnant again, which would be months, weeks and maybe years of failed cycles, medications and sweari9ng at God for no apparent reason, then when I finally did get pregnant I would be on nasty medication for 12 weeks, would probably bleed and scare the crap out of myself. I would gain another insane amount of weight due to inactivity because I am scared to losing said baby, then complaining of every ache and pain for 9 months, to end with edema, and last but not least pushing another watermelon out. Then there is the fun afterwards, the newborn isnt crying/waking, we must set the alarm every 5 mins to feed it, it has colic and you live in a one floor apartment, where you would like to throw said newborn out a window, lol. Then there is teething, and seperation anxiety, and this is all just the first year! Ok ok, don't get me wrong, I love being a parent, I love Isaac very much, but this past year, atleast the first 6 months were pure sleep deprived hell. So no, not any time soon will we be having another child, we will be enjoying the one we have.

Ok, rant over..

11 months old

It is so hard to believe that Isaac is almost a year old already, I still feel like he is just a little bean inside of me. Since 2004 DH and I attempted to have a child, with such heartache and frustration, to be celebrating a whole year of life with Isaac is amazing. He is a big boy, weighing 23.5lbs, he is within the 75th percentile. He started to walk at the very beginning of October, and he is blabbing a lot, which is so sweet. He has started to smile and flirt with whomever will give him the time of day. I love being a mother so much.

TTC Nostalgia

Isaac is almost 7 months! 6 days from now. He seems to be doing really well, at his last doctors visit I was told he was ahead of the game, which is so good to hear. He isn't crawling, but he has started rolling around the whole house, he JUST started lifting his bum in a crawling position, so soon enough. He has discovered that he has individual fingers and constantly watches them, he scrapes along the carpet with his fingers to grab toys. He sits up now unassisted too. We had a bout of baby measles, hes best friend had them and as they share everything, of course they will share illnesses too. They didn't last very long though, he was sick to begin with and only has the rash for 2 days, during his illness he got his first tooth, which I found completely baffeling, as he didnt drool or complain about his mouth once, but I assume he had other things on his mind. He is still sick now, with a sinus thing, and a pretty cruel diaper rash as he is teething the other bottom tooth.
So, I have been thinking about TTC # 2... Am I nuts? On the surface I think it would be so easy to have another baby, but when I dig down I remember.... It took me 4 years to have Isaac, it took 100lb weight loss,many tests, much hell and a horrible pregnancy to get him here. I have gained over half the weight I lost, so i would have to lose that again, I refuse to be that heavy, as my health is already suffering. Last month I though I might be pregnant, I was late and had the feelings, but they say when you spend a lot of time with someone your cycles coincide...well my friend was pregnant and miscarried, which brought back a whole schwack of other memories! Well, i think i will keep my options open, but will keep it on the back burner for now, DH and I have given it 2 years before we start ttc again, and hopefully we can wait that long.

Almost 5 months!

I seriously can not believe how fast time is passing! Isaac is almost 5 months old already. We had started him on some solids, he is going through 2 cans of formula a week, and thats getting a little pricy, so since we started him on solids he has slowed down on the formula. Everything is going well, he is 15 lbs now. We were dealing with a flat head issue, and it seems to have rounded out really nicely, we used a side sleeping device. He will let us know what he needs by his crys, when he is tired, when he is hungry, when he needs changed, its really neat. He has become very attatched to his pacifier and I am not to keen on that, but if it keeps him happy I am happy. We also got him a bumbo chair, he LOVES it! It is a great idea for babies who want to sit up but arent quite there yet. Thats our update, nothing else really going on. Husband is on unemployment and has been since Isaac was born, we are waiting to see if he goes back to the same position or if he needs to look for something else, in the mean time he only has 16 weeks left of EI. Isaac is calling, I must go now.

12 weeks old.

I still go through this daily ritual, I pick the baby up when he wakes up, i count his fingers, count his toes, listen to his heart beat and stare at him in amazment, I honestly cannot believe how much of a miracle he truly is. What a miracle life it self is, that a tiny little egg and a tiny little sperm can make a human being! Isaac is so amazing, he is starting to babble, his cries have changed and he lets you know a bit more about what he wants, he plays with toys, watches mobiles, smiles a lot, coos a alot, and still cries a lot. He eats all the time, between every 3-6 hours and still isn't sleeping through the night. He has been in size 3-6 month clothes since a week ago, he is so huge! Last time we weighed him he was 12 lbs 2oz. I find it so neat to watch him make all of these milestones daily. I am truly blessed to be a mother.