Giant victories.

I have lost my goal weight of 65lbs. 5 months and a ton of hard work, and I got there! I set another goal to get to my ideal weight, and that is less than 40 lbs away. I am stronger, I am smaller, I am more toned. I have more stamina and more energy. I feel amazing! I went from a size 24 in 3/4x tops, down to a 14/16 waist and l/xl tops.
Before Picture

"During" picture, since I am still working for it.

Little Victories

I have a now lost 32 lbs! It is amazing that I have been able to accomplish this! I went from not being able to walk up the stairs without being out of breath, to walking 4-5km a day! Stationary biking 10km, and so much more. My strength is amazing, I can run up an down the stairs without running out of breath, hold my daughter without being winded, stand on my toes without my planters fasciitis acting up. I can squat down or sit on my knees without falling or hurting. My biggest little victories to date are seeing my toes and fitting into a winter coat that I got 2 years ago that was to tight to wear, slimming down 2 pant sizes and watching my back fat disappear. I still have a ways to go, and have hit my first weight plateau, but I am not scared. I have gained muscle and I know that gaining muscle will make my weight stay steady until it kicks up again. I feel great and am so proud of myself for what I have accomplished thus far. Keeping it up!

You'll Never Finish If You Don't Start!- My Accountability

In the last 6 weeks, I have lost 24 lbs! I am very proud of myself. I am obese and have been since I was 5 years old. Between 2008 and 2013 I gained 80 lbs. I had help of course, with 3 pregnancies, sharing food with the toddlers...But it was always my decision to eat what I did. I had a very poor diet filled mostly with fast food, eating it at least 4 times a week, if not more some weeks. It was disgusting, but it was an addiction, it was all my brain wanted. I was extremely sedentary, I sat down at the computer day in and day out and ate, always unhealthy foods while wasting my mind away on the computer. I ate chips and cookies, entire boxes of crackers, the kids Halloween candy...It was getting very very out of hand. I never could stop though. I then became addicted to soda pop, drinking 1-2 litres of cola a day.

What changed?
Around the end of September, I ended up in the hospital for severe stomach pain and was diagnosed with esophagitis and an ulcer. I had been taking anti-inflammatory NSAIDS, twice daily, for nearly a year for my back pain, drinking carbonated beverages all day through out the day every day. I ate greasy crap foods...No wonder I had this ulcer and this inflammation. I was put on some proton-pump inhibitors, and amazingly it go rid of the pain...Which meant I could eat, and drink pop without the effects of the burning sensation in my upper stomach. I stopped taking them at the beginning of December, and glory be, I was in worse pain then I was in September. I said to myself, and to my husband, that's it! No more pop, its killing me. And out it went. I started to drink water, and only water. Still we were eating junk and nothing was changing. I was so tired running around with the kids, I couldn't even fold laundry because it made me so tired. My heart would pound nearly through my chest when i would run up the stairs. I felt sick to my stomach and had pain in my knees and hips and arms all the time, so much that it became a regular part of life. One night, a few days before Christmas my brain just snapped. I started researching things like weight loss pills, and detox diets, but it was all ridiculously expensive and I was in no shape to starve myself. I couldn't even fathom charting what I ate, I always ended up very embarrassed by the result. I was an addict and I either needed desperate help or needed to change my way of thinking and do this the right way. I didn't want it to be a new years resolution, because who ever sticks to those? I made Christmas day my "last meal". The last day I could eat whatever I wanted and as much as i wanted, because it was gooood food. Turkey, mashed potatoes, broccoli and cheese sauce, buttered buns, cookies, candies, bars. And I did. I had my last hurrah. The next day I gave my husband all the junkfood, either hide it or get rid of it, I don't want the temptation. It was hard at first, the first week I still ate quite a lot. I then stumbled across Myfitnesspal.com, and they have a free calorie counter on there, so I tracked my calories for the day and realized, my goodness, even thought I thought I took all the unhealthy things out of my diet, I am still eating a ridiculous amount of calories! I think the first day I logged about 2800. Yikes. I changed things, switched them out for healthier items, white bread became brown, taco wraps became lettuce wraps, chips became cucumbers, Italian dressing became balsamic vinaigrette. It took me 3 weeks to change the way I ate. To look down on the bad foods and up on the good. To realize that if I paid attention to the "per serving" in the label, then I could eat more without out eating more. One third of a cucumber and calorie wise balsamic dressing was only 50 calories! And it was an entire bowl full, that filled me and satisfied me. Once I did that the weight started to melt off. I added in walking. I walk my son to his school bus stop daily, so there was 20 mins out of my day I already used for exercise, and his bus stop is right on a city pathway, so I started to walk. After I his bus would pick him up, I would turn around and keep going, starting with 30 mins a day, or every other day. Then my husband brought my exercise bike back into the livingroom from the dusty spare bedroom. And I sat on that for 15 mins every few days.

2 months later, I eat better, I can think straight, I can concentrate, I don't feel sick all the time, I can breath when I run up the stairs. I can do 25 mins on the bike, I can now do a slow jog when walk. I can play with my kids. I can eat enough to satisfy me instead of gorging or grazing all day. I know I have a long way to go, but it's a start, and I see the difference, and am incredibly happy to see results and very proud of myself. I am happier then I have been for years, and this has done nothing but improve my life. So I will continue. For me.

Dec 26, 2013 - Feb 2, 2014- 24 lbs and 10 inches lost. Goal 65 lbs.
My Inspiration; My kids, my brothers, my bffs (hubby included), Aaron Goodwin.

2014?! Where did all the time go?!

Wow, I cannot believe it is 2014 already! This year hubby and I celebrate 10 years together. I am amazed we have made it this far together. Our road has been bumpy, but it has always been happy and full of love.

Kayla is now 20 months old. In just 4 short months, she will be 2. It is hard to believe what we have been through to get her here and she is perfectly healthy. She still has her bicuspid aortic valve, but for the time being, she has adjusted to it and doesn't need to see her cardiologist until she is 4 years old. She is rarely sick and is always happy. She is amazing. To watch her grow and thrive and learn, it is such a great experience. She has started to talk more, she copies words and gets her point through now. She is funny, has a great sense of humor.

Isaac is going in to his second semester of Kindergarten tomorrow. He does so well in school. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, but it really hasn't been an issue for a few months. He turned 5 as well in November. He is such a bright child, good at math, funny, loves to draw and sing and play. His favorite subject in school is music, and he is learning to read.

The year had been hard but had been good to us. I am so blessed to have these two amazing children.

Asthma, Hospital stays and Dry Pull Ups.

Isaac has had 4 asthma attacks that have needed medical attention this year, as well as 2 bouts with pneumonia. Its become a regular occurrence, that when Isaac starts this nasty constant cough, that we may end up in the hospital over night. He had gotten home from school, and he was coughing quite harshly. He told me he needed his ventolin in gym class today and couldn't catch his breath. He was really playful, I figured it was just a cold. By 8pm, I had him in bed and ready for the night, he couldn't lay down because he couldn't catch his breath, he was screaming and panicking. I told the husband, if he vomits, we are going in... Sure enough, he did about 5 mins after I mentioned it. About 4 days before that, my husband had gotten into a car accident and we no longer had a vehicle. I had to call my father in law to come get us. Luckily, they only live about 10 blocks away.
Isaac kept fainting, and I had to put him in a wheel chair. They checked his oxygen levels, and instantly he was wheeled into a room, his O2 level was 72. I have never seen it that low, ever. The ER kept him on oxygen all night, he slept really well after he could breath. I didn't, my big butt and little chairs don't mix well. By the morning, they decided to admit him for his asthma, after they had tried to wean him off the oxygen twice and his O2 kept dropping. It was a lovely stay in a tiny private room in isolation, with a kindergartener who had a good sleep and is on steroids. I was a mess of stress, he was a ball of energy, bouncing from corner to corner... I was pretty difficult. We were in the hospital from Weds night until Sunday morning. He was amazing and fine and I am happy we made it through that.
Meanwhile, my poor husband is at home with an injured back, watching and taking care of Kayla. Apparently they didn't leave the livingroom the entire time.

Asthma is kind of a bitch. I really hate it and what it does to my children. It is absolutely debilitating to Isaac, and he cannot function daily without his matinence meds. The matinence meds make him a little crazy hyper active, stressing me out.... Its been hard.

So far, the last 3 months
Kayla was in the hospital for an upper respiratry infection, I was in the hospital for esophagitis and h.pylori, Isaac had an anaphylactic reaction and ended up in the hospital, Isaac had dental surgery and had to be put under, so we had to go to the hospital for that, Chris got into a bad accident and fractured his L2 vertabrae, then Isaac ends up in the hosp for his asthma. 6 times since the end of August.... Thats more then most in a life time, thank GOD I live in Canada.

So, potty training. Isaac will be 5 in Novemember, and we have struggled with potty training since he was 2. He has been fully day time trained since April, and we were still struggling with night time training. The doctor gave us some tips to stay dry at night, and so far, so good. 3 day in a row now. I hope it lasts so I don't have to buy pull-ups again until Kayla trains.

Food Allergies, Kindergarten and Kayla is almost 17 months old.

In mid June I decided I was going to register Isaac into Kindergarten. It was a spur of the moment decision that was actually poorly though out at the time, but Isaac was starting to really get under my skin. He is a rambunctious little boy who needs to explore, and our house is not big enough for that. With Kayla, it was difficult to have them play outside over the summer, 1) its not safe to let either play alone in this city, 2) The neighbours decided they were going to let their wasp nest be and let them take over the back yards. Our houses are really close together so we basically shared the wasp problem all summer long. We played outside when we could, mostly later in the day before the sun went down or in the rain. Anyhow, Isaac needed an outlet, and since all of our friends have dogs and Isaac is severely allergic to dogs, I though school was the next best thing. He started on September 3rd and he is doing very well. He loves his teacher, he loves learning new things and he loves making new friends. We have a fun adventure every morning walking to the bus stop where we meet up with 2 other little boys, and they all play tag and scream for 10 mins until the bus gets there. The bus stop was an experience. They gave us a map at the beginning of the school week, and I don't know our neighbourhood very well, we don't explore much behind us and explore more in front of us, that community is where my In Laws live and some close friends. The first day of school it took us 15 mins to walk to the bus stop. It was so far from the house, about 4 blocks of zigzags. Then I learned I had to pick him up at a different stop, closer to the house, but how annoying? What are we going to do when its -30°C with Kayla in a tiny umbrella stroller in 3 feet of snow. I don't drive, so we'd have to walk. After the 3rd day and a nasty sun burn, right after the bus left, Kayla and I took a walk to find the other bus stop. On the map it looked like the same distance in the opposite direction as the other one. We walked blocks down the main road and I found it, basically right behind my house. I have to walk through the alley way, then on to a bike path, but it is only 5 mins away instead of 15, this one he can be dropped off at and picked up at. Thank Goodness.

With Isaac starting school in September, I decided we needed to get him into the allergist asap to get an Epi-Pen for his peanut allergy, the family doctor said we had to wait until he was 5 to have him tested (bullshit) but I said no, he needs in now. We got a fit in appointment in Mid July. We discovered that not only is he severely allergic to peanuts, but also to tree nuts and has a little reaction to wheat. He is also severely allergic to Dogs and Cats, dander and pelt. While I am happy that my son is now diagnosed and carries the Allerject (Auvi-q but Canadian) I am sad for him to have to have so many restrictions. He goes back at 7 yrs old for retesting. He actually had an anaphylactic reaction a week before school started. He shared a sandwich from Subway with his dad and instantly started coughing, getting hives, barking when he coughed, so we spend the night in the ER under close observation. He was fine but sore an puffy by morning. Its scary stuff, food allergies, and a lot of people just snub it off for some reason. They don't seem to understand that it can be life threatening. I am constantly close to a phone, with fear in the back of my mind, fearing that phone call from school that will tell me Isaac is having an allergic reaction. I am scared they are going to say it took to long to administer the epi and his throat closed and he died. That scares the living poop out of me. Such is life, the world is not going to stop spinning long enough for me to rationalize everything to the tiniest detail, as much as I want it to. He is really awesome at working the trainer on his own, so I can only hope he'd know what to do incase he needs to use the real one.

Kayla will be 17 months old on the 26th of September. She is such a character. She has the best sense of humor. She can say about 15-20 words now, although she would rather just say "Hi, see and more" all day. She is right on par with her peers but has some issues, she has some emotional issues and sensory issues. She melts down easily. But she seems pretty normal for her age. She still drinks a bottle, but we are down to 2 a day of formula , 2 sippy cups of milk and 2 sippy cups of water a day. She is attached to her soother 24/7, I have tried to start the weaning process, but it isn't going very well. Shes a good kid, very independent and likes to play alone. Likes to fall asleep on someone then be put to bed, just started sleeping though the night this past week finally. Its getting easier.

On a personal note, my husband and I lost a very good friend in August. His name was Scott and he was the Best Man at our wedding. He passed away at the age of 37 from a heart attack. He left behind his amazing and beautiful wife Patsy. They had just gotten married this past October. I have known Scott since I was a kid, I was 13 when I met him and we used to be close, my husband knew him separately through other friends and was just as close to him. When he started dating his wife, we backed off and let them be together, as friends do, and I hadn't hung out with him since I was just pregnant with Isaac. Not for lack of trying, we just could never find a baby sitter. Now he is with the angels being the best darn uncle he can be to my little angelic baseball team up there. Rest in Peace buddy.

That's all for our little family update for now. Until next time.

The End of an Era, and Kayla is 13 months old now!

At the end of the day on May 26th, I made the realization that Kayla is now 13 months old. The last month went by so quickly, I seriously feel like I blinked and it was gone. She is reaching and passing milestones like nuts. We have attempted to start her on a cup, she won't take a sippy cup but she understands the concept of a regular cup, just not that its full of liquid that will get all over her. She has started walking around the house with her bottles upside down, so something needs to change, before my house smells like rotten milk all the time. She is sleeping full time in her crib now, until about 7 am, which is great. No more baby in our bedroom! She had grown, is eating solids like a champ and gained a ton of weight.
We as a family decided we are done having more children. We have been ultimatly blessed with what we have, and don't feel like taking our chances again. Hubby had his vasectomy in December and have been cleared from here on out. The closing of this chapter has been difficult, but we know in our hearts that my body would probably not be able to do it again, and we have our boy and girl, so we have what we wanted. My mind keeps going there though. I know it will take time. Its like quitting a job you have had for years and just stopping it... Time heals, and now its time to focus on what we have.