Kayla is 7 months old and Isaac turns 4.

Kayla has turned 7 months old! How crazy is it that over half a year has passed so quickly! I forget that she is so old because she is so tiny still. Last weigh in i think she was 12 lbs, or 13 lbs. She is getting bigger every day, growing quickly out of her size 3 month things, still in 3-6 month though. She is eating all kinds of things, but she isn't too keen on sweet things, she closes her mouth tight to thinks like pares and apples. She likes cereal and squash and potatoes. Her feet are finally big enough to fit in her Robeez and they look so cute on her, she has an a vast shoe collection and just scored some new sketchers from her Auntie Lu. She loves to play in the exersaucer, her feet touch the ground on the lowest setting and she loves that she can bounce and play. She has reached almost all of the 6 month old milestones, the only thing she doesn't do is repeat sounds and she doesn't have the dexterity to sit up alone, but shes getting there. She can rolls all over the floor and she can get her butt up in crawl mode, but she just does her own thing.No teeth yet, but the irritable baby has started. Her favorite game right now is throwing her soother and making you pick it up. Growing and learning every day.

Isaac has a birthday on the 25th, he turned 4. He amazes me every day, just over the last few months he has mentally grown so much. He understands so much more, and he has learned manners and respect. He is potty trained now. He is getting prepared for preschool in the next few months. He had a tooth pulled and he was such a brave little boy for the dentist. And he healed up really quickly.

As for us. We got into a car accident in October and Chris got laid off due to the medication he is taking, but we are some how getting by. Not really supposed to talk about it all that much. Seeing the chiro every few days and getting it slowly dealt with. Its been nice having Chris home, but hard on me, as I don`t get to experience being alone with the kids as I normally would be, and I have become fairly dependent on having him home helping out. Whatever. Working it out.

6 months old

I seriously can not believe that Kayla is already 6 months old. This has been the most chaotic year, will past 18 months, of my entire life. I am so grateful to have Kayla in my life, in our family. She brings me so much joy and happiness.

She is doing so well, she is healthy, happy, growing. She is approximately 12-13lbs now, I will know for sure Nov 7th. She loves being on her belly, its her favorite place to play. She loves her brother, every morning they have a good 20 min chat together after we wake up and before I bring them downstairs. She is attempting to army crawl. She is grabbing for things, like her fishes on her mobile, her soother in her mouth, blankets. She is very interested in food, she has tried some adult foods like chili broth, tomato soup, baby cereal, iced tea drips. She loves it. She is officially in size 2 diapers even though she could fit in a 1 if she needed too, and she is also now in 3-6m clothes.

It has snowed here, so the season has changed. We are prepping for my dads wedding, Isaac's forth birthday, Christmas. It has been very busy around here. We also were recently in a car accident and got hurt pretty good. Both hubby and I got whiplash and Isaac got a low back strain. Kayla is perfect though, she was snug as a bug in her cushy rear facing infant seat. We are working through the pain every day and hopefully it won't be long before we are back to 100%.

anyhow. If i think of anything else I will edit this post, but so far that is all I can think of.

Worldwide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

October is Worldwide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This is the month that we tell our stories, remember our babies, and break the silence.

I have a lot of words that I want to get on to "paper" but my brain just jumbles it all up. I am sad, I am having a very hard time in my grief of Alexander. In 5 days it will be the 1 year anniversary of his memorial service, which is the day I said good bye. This month has been harder on me than his actual angelversary was. I have been very moody, short with the kids, irritable, depressed, and have really had nothing good to say for a while. I usually repress things for a long time and either forget about them or don't think about them ever again. However, I think this is something a little bigger and I may have to deal with it sooner rather then later.

I really thought that I had said good bye, thinking that I could just let go of it, and my entire pregnancy with Kayla I did pretty well, but I watched a show on the weekend, called Long Island Medium, where the medium was telling everyone messages of their loved ones. One lady in particular, she had lost her child in the 5th month of her pregnancy, and this child acknowledged her via the medium, the child "said" he know who she was, that he is there with her and that he saw her say good bye. I need that. I need the validation that Alexander was "there", that his smile was a smile and not an illusion. That, though I could not physically hold him, that having him near me, praying and talking to him, that he heard me and that he took that with him. I have been such an emotional mess since I watched that episode. Then it makes me think of all my other miscarriages, do I really have that many tiny angels growing in heaven? I have my own sports team up there. I always pushed the miscarried babies to the back of my mind, yeah, I had 10, or more early miscarriages in my first trimester, I saw ultrasounds with embryos, some with heartbeats, some that never developed that far, some that developed farther but stopped somewhere a long the way. And it never really effected me until Alexander died, Alexander lived until he took his first breath without lungs.

A loss of a still child, I really cannot compare it to any other emotion I have ever had in my entire life. I have never lost anyone so close to me. I do realize that Alex never breathed a full breath, that he didn't leave an imprint in the social world, that he more or less only exists in me and Chris heart and mind, but he made a huge impact on me, he was my son, Isaac's little sibling that he prayed so hard for. I am so blessed to have been able to give him Kayla after all of this, especially since my uterus was basically destroyed by Alex's pregnancy, but, she is not a replacement. I did not carry her to replace Alex, she came out of pure love and want for another physical child. Alex was his own person, a little life, and he died.

Sorry for rambling, but I really think this is part of the healing process. I need to get this off my chest, regardless of who reads it or not.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Let's take some time to remember the babies who were born asleep, whom we carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, or the ones who made it home, but could not stay. Baby loss is still a taboo subject. I am breaking my silence. In memory of Baby Alexander and my many unnamed angels that sit upon his shoulders.

October 15th, World Wide Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Sheena D.

5 months 3 days = 3 months 2 weeks adjusted

I have a hard time believing that 5 months have passed. It certainly does not seem like that much time has gone by. Kayla being so tiny I am sure has a lot to do with it. Its been interesting, hard and easy.

She is reaching awesome milestone, even just over the past week. She has discovered that she has individual fingers instead of just fists. She has attempted to put her soother back in her mouth, since it always falls out, haha. She can grasp toys, randomly point and just today started holding her bottle on her own. She is up to 6 ounces a feed 5 times a day now, weighs 11 lbs 2 oz and is just growing into her 3 month/3-6 month clothes. She also just grew into her first pair of shoes.
She has been pretty sick the last while, she has this nasty upper respiratory illness that luckily has stayed viral, but its been really trying on her breathing. We have also tried and failed solids, not ready yet.

Isaac is finally potty trained. I could jump for joy on that one. He has just been so difficult in the past. A week or so ago he squatted down and peed on the floor right in front of his dad, and that was it. Pull up were taken away (for day time) and we put the potty right in the hallway by the kitchen, and he is using it exclusively during the day.

I am adjusting pretty well to having two kids around. It has not been easy, buy any means. Isaac is very independant, so I was used to having a lot of me time, and being on bedrest my whole pregnancy, I had Hubby home a lot taking care of Isaac. Its going well though. Now, if only I could find time to clean the house...

Anyhow, thats the monthly update.

4 months old = 2 months, 1 week, 4 days old

10lbs
23 inches long
Moved from 10th percentile to 25th.

I cannot believe 4 months has passed by so quickly! The days are just flying by.
Kayla has grown out of New born clothing and is now in 0-3. She is in size 1 diapers still.

we had a wonderful 3 week bout of colic, which was actually an allergy to milk. we switched her from Similac sensitive to Similac advance and my goodness, baaaad gas, bad smells and chronic diarrhea, but i never put two and two together until a friend mentioned it, we switched her back and I found my happy baby again.

She was having a hard time sleeping so we invested in a sleep sheep. I figure that since they used a sound machine while she was in the NICU, that it might help, and low and behold we now have a baby who will sleep 5 hours straight. She is still getting up in the middle of the night, but luckily Isaac is sleeping in until 9am, so I can still catch a few hours until the house is up.

Hubby went back to work two weeks ago. It was so difficult the first week, since I just could not put Kayla down without screaming, but the second week wasn't so bad, she is getting used to being put down now, and since she is awake longer now, i can lay her down and let her play under her little mat.

I have noticed i have had to adjust things for her. Her jumperoo, i have to put a yellow pages under her so she can bounce. All of her play gym toys needed an extra link to be down farther so she could pull on them. Teethers, to big for her mouth, so i got her some textured links to chew on. She loves to play now, and make noise. She still grunts and gurgles but there is a oooh and aaaw in there now too.

She has started to teethe, had discovered her hands and feet, collects toe jam daily, grows her nails like weeds, smiles uncontrollably, likes to stand, likes to listen to music....Its like she grew into this incredible human being overnight.

medically, she is still anemic, which is tied into the whole liver mass issue, but shes healthy.

http://www.sleepsheepandfriends.com/sheep.html
http://similac.ca/en/
http://www.fisher-price.com/en_US/brands/babygear/products/52522

3 Months old = 1 month 1 weeks adjusted.

The last few days have just been amazing as far as development go. It is almost as if Kay just "woke up" from teeny tiny baby to 3 month old. She smiles, giggles, coos, babbles, swings he arms with purpose. Has wake and sleep and play patterns instead of wake and sleep. She focuses and concentrates now. It is so amazing. Before, she was such a bump on a log.
She is growing really well, she is 9lbs now, 21 inches long, and eating about 800 mls a day from 550. He favorite things are her nu-nu blankey and her hospital soother, but shes becoming quite attached to her flower mirror from her tummy mat.
Isaac is doing ok, he has become Satan reincarnate, but he is using his manners and apologizing a lot more. We have been trying different discipline techniques with him and they seem to be working. He just seems to have a lot of pent up frustration and anger and energy that comes from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. He is sooo hyper all the time that with advice from the doc, we started having to give him melatonin to sleep. And it works pretty great, feels much better then having to drug him with gravol just to get 3 hours of quiet a night. Anyhow, thats our life right now.

Oh How We Grow

11 weeks old

I don't know how much she weighs now, but Kayla has grown so much. I don't really notice it being with her every day, but my sister-in-law mentioned that she is huge from the last time they saw her, which is about 2 weeks ago.
Kayla is becoming a chubby monkey. She is healthy now from that cold she had but still seems congested every once in a while. She isn't eating more or more often, but shes still growing. I would estimate her to be about 9lbs. We switched her to size 1 diapers today, just because we were out of newborns and have hundreds of size ones. Not much else going on here. Its been hot, the heat tends to boil the brain and make you stupid, so I have forgotten everything I was going to post about.

2 days old