TTC in The future?

So, we have hit an impass in the TTC world. Things with my body seem to be messed right up and I am not doing what I wish I could be, and that my friends is Ovulate. My body has completely stopped producing eggs. I am also suffering from the period from hell. I have been on it for what seems like forever. I had 11 days off while I was on 2 weeks of Prometrium (progesterone) to get it to stop, but just after I finished taking it, it came right back again. Hubby and I need to discuss somethings about the future of our family, as it looks like we may never have any more children. The "H" word (Hystorectomy) was thrown around in the doctors office today, or Ablasion, which is still difficult to hear, either way pregnancy is impossible. We are investigating the possibility of endometriosis on top of my PCOS. The doctor has put me on Seasonale birthcontrol, thats the kind that you take for 3 months in a row, so that we can stop the bleeding for a while and let my uterus rest, which seems to be the best, then we are going to visit the ideas again after 6 months or so. I really don't want to have to take another invasive approach to have a baby, so I think we will take it day by day. I am blessed to have Isaac, and if that is all that God will give me, then I remain truly blessed and will be happy with that.
We are moving (Thank gooooooodness) I am so happy to be getting out of here. I can not tell you how much I hate living in this neighbourhood, in this crappy expensive apartment. We found something much cheaper in a better neighbourhood closer to those we are closest to, much better. Have been doing a lot of cleaning and a lot of packing. There is 4 years worth of nastyness in this apartment, and the place we are moving to has no storage, but the upside of it, it is a house, and will be so much better for Isaac's asthma and allergies then this apartment.
Anyhow, thats it, thats all. I will update about the ttc stuff at a later date.

Isaac turns 2

Wow, Isaac's birthday has come and gone, he is 2 years old now! Sleeping in a big boy bed, potty training, speaking a mile a minute and making sense when he does. I can not believe how much my little buddy has grown up. He had tons of fun, on his actual birth DAY we had a few friends over for dinner and cake. He really enjoyed that, Lexi is his best friend, and I don't think he would have wanted it any other way. On the weekend we went to my dads to celebrate my grandfather's (Isaac's great grandfather) 80th birthday. We were also celebrating my sister in laws 22nd birthday. It was really nice, my parents flew my grandparents here from Kelowna BC just for the few days, put together an excellent supper for 20 people, and had some great chit chat with the family. We also got some free entertainment out the picture window, my dads house faces vertically to a street and down the street we got to see person get pulled over, chased, tazered and jumped by about 8 police men and women, it was neat. Not something you see everyday in this neck of the woods.
Isaac's asthma is getting worse, it seems that he is coughing more often, and a deep cough too. We got him a humidifier, so we will see how that works out.
So, on a personal note, I had not been getting my af for quite a while, I think I counted 94 days, then she came with vengeance. I had her for 24 days. At the 21st day I finally went to the doctor and he put me on prometrium, which is progesterone, and within just a few days of taking it AF went away. But there seems to be something wrong with me, and another baby may not be in our future. We shall see. I am happy with the way things are, so either way I am happy with it.
Anyway, that is all that has been going on lately. I will hopefully update sooner then Christmas. I am going to go see my bff get her 12 week ultrasound on the 10th of December, so I may update then. Until next time, take care.

Winter is comming!

Hello world. I have not been around for a while, there has been what seems like so much going on. Isaac is well, he is healthy, which is good, that's a good thing about a bad cold, that you always seem to get better from it. He is talking like crazy! Just over the last few weeks he has flourished in his vocabulary, I understand him at least 80% of the time now. It makes things a lot easier on me to know what he wants or what he needs.
Halloween was nice, I went out with the hubby, Ikey, my best friend and her daughters. We got a decent haul for a 23 month old with peanut allergies. Isaac was a Teddy Bear, so adorable!
My mother is moving back to California, so things around here will return to normal shortly, which will be good, it is difficult to share a room with a toddler that wakes up to the slightest noise, I am sure it will be nice for him to get his room back, he will also be getting a bed for his birthday, so the transition should be quick and easy. My mom will be missed around here, she made the days fun and entertaining.
Winter is slowly approaching, I thought it was here but we have been lucky enough to warm up again. It was 22C here yesterday! Warm weather means that the hubby stays working. They cut their hours down though from 11 to 9 a day, but that is expected this close to winter and the loss of daylight.
Ikey's birthday is only 19 days away. I am getting nervous and excited at the same time, it seems to be coming around more quickly, this year just flew right by. This birthday we are also celebrating my grandfathers 80th on the same day, so Isaac's great grandparents get to meet him for the first time on his birthday, which is really neat! They live in BC so we don't see them much.
My best friend found out that she is pregnant! This is # 3 for her. She managed to get pregnant in 1 month after being off the IUD. I think that's pretty amazing. The baby, although was a surprise, was a planned surprise but no one thought it would come so soon.
We were going to attempt to conceive again, especially since my bff is pregnant (it brought the want back) but things are no longer working the way they should down south, so I have a feeling it may take a while to have another one. It would be a great blessing, but if it doesn't happen, i am ok with that.

That's pretty much everything that has been happening lately, not a lot.
Started journalling again, so its easier to remember things.

RSV and Being Super Mom.

My dear boy has managed to get himself so sick. My biggest fear when he was an infant was RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus )because he was a late term preemie, and it can cause severe lung damage in infants, but since he is almost two, I really was not worried about it anymore. About a week ago he couldn't sleep because he was coughing so bad. He was wheezing so bad, and was so listless, so we took him to the doctor. The doctor diagnosed him with an ear infection in both ears, but didn't hear a wheeze, possibly because he was freaking out so bad about the stethoscope. Well, he was put on a 7 day course of anti-biotics, and it seemed to help, however, this past Wednesday and early morning Thursday (the 22nd and 23rd) he could not sleep again because of this awful cough. Him and I were sitting on the floor preparing ourselves for bed time, when he looked at me, turned green and vomited all over me. This was the first time he had EVER puked since he was a baby and was spitting up, so I was immediately concrned. I cried like a baby due to my anxiety, covered in vomit and my baby is feeling crappy. Chris and I, after the whole early morning of coughing decided that if he puked again we were taking him to the hospital. 3 projectile sessions later, we were off to the hospital. His initial stats were
Oxygen Saturation levels 82% ( 93-95 are where he should be) and his heart rate was 180 beat per min. We were rushed in right-a-way. Put on oxygen, had Ventolin treatments, some epinephrine to open his lungs and we were admitted into the pediatric ward because he needed to be on oxygen and in isolation, in case he was immuno-compromised or contagious. Turns out, after much deliberation, he has RSV. with probable asthma. We spent a total of 32 hrs in the hospital, and 15 of those were on oxygen. He was on 5 puffs of Ventolin every 1/2 hr, then every hour and is now down to 2 puffs every 5hrs, oral steroids and a bronciodiolator. He is doing so much better and is improving hourly. We have had 2 good sleeps at home now.
As for being Super mom. I had to go at this alone, not because of anything bad, but Chris had to go back to work for the first time in 3 weeks, and we need the money, so I stayed in the hospital. I have really bad anxiety especially in hospitals, but I put on my big girl panties, and my special mom hat and did what I had to do to be calm for my baby. I am vainly proud of myself. We both survived. And I hope to Jesus that we never have to go back there again. It was a reasonable experience, no complaints there, but still. He was such a strong little man, so aware and so easy going towards everyone, knowing we were there so he would feel better. On to healing. Thanks for reading :).

Surviving sleep deprivation- A Mother on Auto-pilot.

I remember when I was a teenager, and I could get up at 7am after being out until 3am and still function through the day. I remember in my early 20's wanting to do nothing but sleep all day, noon, one, that was my regular wake up time, off to work by 2 in the afternoon. I really loved sleep before Isaac was born. Everyone kept telling me to get all the sleep I could before he was born, but what did I know? I was nesting by the end. 24 hrs before he was born I helped my roommate move out, cleaned 2 bedrooms and moved our entire bedroom set into the master suite. I assume that may have been why he came so early, but who knows. For the first 4 months, almost 6 months of his life I mourned my bed, I cried for it. I frequently slept when Isaac did, but it was never enough. I slept on the floor in the livingroom, in a rocking chair, almost always with Isaac in my arms, so you are never really fully asleep. Then Isaac started sleeping through the night. He would get up at midnight and 3am for a bottle, but my husband would do the midnight feed and I would do the 3am feed, so I was potentially getting 5 hours a night, which was pretty good from the little nap/sleeps I was getting before that. Now that Isaac is nearly 2, I am very used to going to bed at 10/11/12 and getting up at 7 or 8am. However, we were recently thrown into a different routine where my mother moved in with us. We have a tiny 2 bedroom apartment, with a reasonabely sized master bedroom, in which we moved our 21 month old into so that my mother could have her privacy. Well, Isaac is used to having his own room, so sharing is a little awkward for him. But he has always managed. He is also suffering an ear infection in both ears currently, so my husband and I have not had much sleep in the last week. I am so suprised at how easily I can function though through-out the day, its amazing that I can get anything done. I have been extremely lucky to have the hubby home the last 2 weeks, that has helped termendiously, but I survive on auto pilot. I have the ability to go to be with a screaming toddler at 4am and get up at 7am and function for the entire day. Us humans are a pretty neat species.

The randomness that is now September.

I am completely amazed that it is September 11th, I cannot believe the time is going by so fast now-a-days. Isaac will be 2 in just over 2 months. He is growing up very nicely. He is in the perfect learning stage of development, every day is something new. He can name at least 10 body parts, count to 10 (sort of), know what people are talking about, understand some shapes, like a circle, or a square. He understands that an oval is sort of a circle.
He is still really pickey about what he eat, but is eatting a lot more now, he is mostly all about chicken nuggets and french fries. He can say fries and know what they are, lol.
It has been raining almost all summer, which is so unusual for Calgary. We usually have a pretty mild summer. The warmest we got all year was 31C, and for only one day, normally we have 3 weeks of hot hot weather. And with the rain, the husband has been home more often again, unable to work in the mud.
Things are going well. Its in the plans to move in January, so I hope I have time to update. More later.

And now for something completely different

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. He decided he wanted to take our son to see his work site. He is a heavy equiptment operator and drives a gigantic earthmover. They are currently building a new community in the North West of the city. I have been to his job sites before, but have never really cared much for it. Yesterday I really appreciated it. I am not sure why, but I think it was because it was a nice escape. I know this city inside and out, and there is rarely a place I have never been, but here it was, this beautiful place, out in the middle of knowwhere, you could see rolling hills, wheat fields, mountains... It was beautiful! And Isaac really enjoyed himself. We let him run a round a little and play in the dirt. My husband showed me a different terrains in the rock beds, a natural spring pouring from the side of the hill, that the beautiful red rock that caught my attention was actually a lump of clay, that the rocks were smooth, made from soap stone... It was as if I actually had a chance to relax and enjoy myself for once. It was beautiful, and I regret I didnt have a camera when I experienced it.

Potty Training...The beginning.

Isaac has started to show interest in potty training. He has started to refuse to wear diapers. Takes them off as soon as there is any indication of wetness. We bought some Pull-ups, but I find them a bit of a waste of money, and since we bought the ones that get cold, i find that Isaac thinks they are burning him, he becomes extremely aggravated and rips them off the first chance he gets. We are still not quite to serious about it though, just attempting to get him to know what peeing in the potty is. I am sure he isn't quite ready yet, but we will get there.

Peanut Allergy or not?

Its a little hard to see the picture of Isaac's rash, but it came right after eatting a couple of peanuts. He came to me crying and gagging, and I thought it was because peanuts can be sharp, and he isn't used to that kind of food. Then he is making a little hack noise, and a deep cough. I panicked! His cousin Alexis has a peanut allergy, she gets anaphylaxis from peanuts, so we are normally really careful, but he has been fine eatting peanut contaminated food before. But the rash came so fast, I knew. And he was crying and having problems breathing. I made him drink some juice and he told me he was itchy, I made a million phone calls and finally called the poison control center, who told me to give him benadryl. I do not recommend you panic like I did. Call 911. Which is what I should have done, but, thank God, he was fine after the benadryl. Now we go see the the Doctor to get a referal to the allergist.

Summer has started

It is finally nice here! We have had non stop rain and/or snow here all year, but just over the weekend it started to get warmer! We took Isaac to the splash park for the first time, he had a blast! Got himself soaked. I had so much fun too. I did wake up to thunder and lightning at about 4am, but its gone now.
My mother has been here since June 8th, she went home today but may be comming back in August. It has been nice having her here, definatly spoiled me! Some one who did the dishes, cleaned up after the baby, bought dinners and lunches, haha. I enjoyed having her company, after 11 years it was quite nice to have our visit. It was sad to say good bye, Isaac has become very attatched to her too. I hope things work out for her though.
Back to the trying to concieve road again. I am not ovulating, at all. With my PCOS before Isaac, I had always ovulated at least 90% of the time, but since I have been off the pill I have not had one temperature spike through out my cycles, and no positive ovulation tests either. I really don`t want to go through the fertility clinic again, that was so stressful. I think we will probably be going the clomid route in August. But, if that doesnt work by December, I will be looking at the option of a hysterectomy. PCOS has never really bothered me, but laitly I have been going through menopausal issues, and if I go through pary-meno, I will just get the hysterectomy. Alas. .. Other then ttc, life is good. Summer is here.

Isaac is 18 months old!

Today my baby boy is officially a toddler. He is 18 months old. Weights 26lbs, is 2 foot 8, and speaks about 30 words. He uses a fork, has an attitude, likes to spit out food, and his favorite show is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I find it so hard to believe that a year ago he couldn't even sit up or crawl. Life is so amazing. Happy Toddler day little man.

...4,5,6....Um.

Well it looks like the road to conceive again will be a hard one, again. My cycles have become so infrequent and erratic that I still have no idea if I ovulated or not. I really didn't want to conceive with Doctor intervention. Next month I will be taking my temperature everyday. The husband went back to his old job, so we are spending more time together, more then I would like actually, but what am I going to do, ha ha. He has been off for two weeks because of the rain we have been getting, but today he went back to work. Which on one hand has been a great thing, but one the other had horrible because I threw my back out about 5 days ago, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. We were going through boxes in our storage room trying to get a little bit of spring cleaning done, and I must have picked them up wrong, I severely bruised my Trapizius muscle (the V shaped muscle between your shoulder blades) and was put on some muscle relaxants and Tylenol # 3s. I haven't been able to take anything today because I don't want to be a bad parent and fall asleep while watching the baby, but I did manage to get him to have a 3.5 hour nap today, which was also a 3.5 hour nap for me.
We are going to be moving soon. We found a great rental rate on an apartment suite we used to live in. Its a great size, family oriented, and in the area that we wanted Isaac to go to school in. The rental rate is also a nice dramatic change, we will be saving about $300+ dollars a month. The only downfall is we won't really but close to anything, where we are now I can walk to the train, the mall, the walmart, but there the closest thing is a 7-11, and I have to take the bus anywhere. But our doctor is right there in the same place as the 7-11.
Isaac is talking a lot more, he is 17 months old now, and seems to know what cause and effect are, its funny because I know people who know less about common sense then he does. He is so intelligent.
That's all for right now. :)

Here we go, 1,2,3.....CONCIEVE!

We are on the road again, trying for baby # 2. Technically we are only at the point of not preventing, but in August we will probably be using clomid to concieve if we have'nt already by then. I think Isaac is ready to be a big brother, you can tell he is so bored during the day if there is no one to play with, and we live in an apartment complex that doesnt cater to kids. In fact we live in the adult building, but we moved during a rental epidemic and had no children when we moved in, but there are other kids here. So, he really likes having other kids around, I am more scared of the division of attention as Isaac is my little miracle. Its not to say that we will even have another baby, but I want to try before I go and get my tubes tied. Thats all thats really new right now.

What a tangled web we weave

Wow, so much going on lately, its unreal. My husband started a new job this week, and it has been incredibly difficult on all of us, I am so use to him doing the bedtime routine for Isaac, and so was Isaac, that the transition has been incredibly difficult on Isaac and I. He is getting used to it, but its still challenging. It is also lonely eating dinner alone. As it was the only meal my husband and I ever really ate together.
I went off my post part um medication this past week too, and I never realised that I could be addicted to a legal substance. The withdrawls have not helped with the transitions this week, however, my moods have stabilized somewhat. I know that in time things will return to normal, but its a drastic change for all of us right now, and I really hate change.
I was on the road to wanting to have another baby, but have since changed my mind. If we are blessed enough to have another baby, then I am all for having another baby, but as for trying, medicating myself, going through emotional hell... It really isn't healthy for anyone, and Isaac is very much the baby in the family, that I would like to give him the chance to be.
I have started this herbal medicine kick lately. I am really against medications that cause such problems like Anti-depressants, that I think herbal is the way to go. With Isaac being so young too, there really is no option when he is sick, and he tends to get sick quite often. I don't mean for everything though, obviously if he were sick enough to need anti-biotics I would never deny him that, but for things like cold relief of teething pains, etc, herbal is the way to go.
Isaac has turned into a mighty firecracker. He chats non stop, has a very large vocabulary, and is starting to put words together, like "no done" for not done, and things of the same. He is 31.5 inches tall. He thinks that anything he puts up to his ear is a phone, even a piece of paper. He is starting to walk alone, meaning that we can actually take him to the mall and not worry that he is going to run away. Although I still bring the stroller just-in-case. And he has used the potty a few times. We aren't quite serious on the potty training frontier yet, but we have introduced it to him, and he has gone a few times, making me very proud.
That is about all right now, it has been a while since an update. I hope it finds you well.

Talk Talk Talk Talk

Isaac has started (and has yet to stop) talking! He doesnt quite grasp what he is saying, but is mimicing like crazy! He blabbers too, non stop, its so cute. The other morning (5am) I awoke to him singing in his crib.
Having a toddler is not as bad as I thought, its getting easier.