I had my OB follow up today. Everything is great, I have gone 4 days without a contraction or a fever. I still have pain but the doctor said it is likely just an irritated uterus, since nothing has happened because of it. The baby had an awesome heartbeat and the doctor thinks we are making great progress and doing everything we humanly can to be sure this continues. Although she did say it isn't time to brag yet, that we have to make it past the last hurdle (17 weeks). I felt content that she didn't seem concerned with anything, she told me that a lot of the issues I am having are normal for what I have been through. I have not gained any weight, and lost 1 lbs, which is ok. My BP is the lowest it has ever been since seeing her, which I find interesting, as if stress makes my bp go down. I also listed a few concerns about swelling and bp issues to her and she said that I will be seeing her so often that anything that comes up we will be able to deal with. Shes right about that, I am seeing her every 2 weeks this month, the 4th for follow-up and the 18th for ultrasound results. I have my gender scan/Anatomy scan at 18 weeks 3 days, January 16th. Both Chris and I are really excited about it, we are torn with both, yet could care less what it is. We want a girl for the natural reasons of having a boy and a girl, and for the fact that the infertility clinic back in 2007 told me it wasn't likely I could carry girls (they also said I would never carry a baby to term and Isaac is living proof of the opposite). And we want a boy because we have everything for a boy already and recently had a nephew, but at the same time, I have a good friend having a baby girl in January, so it works out either way. I am just truly happy to make it either way so I honestly have no preference.
Christmas was good, Isaac was spoiled, we spent the day at my dads with my brother and his wife and my step-moms brother and wife, it was nice to have adult conversation.
Thats it for now, I may update before then, but will likely not update until January 16th.
Wednesday 28 December 2011
Saturday 24 December 2011
So scared
Last night I got out of the hospital after a 36 hour stay. The entire situation was horrible, especially feeling like I was reliving this all over again.
I all started with a pain on my right side, right where the baby like to hang out, I thought the baby may have been in a bad place. I moved my tummy, changed positions, drank a whole bunch of water. The pain wouldn't move. Then I started to get pressure in my stomach. I thought I would wait it out, try and go to the washroom, have a little sleep. I woke up at 5am freaking out, it was starting to get worse. But again, I waited it out. Sat up in the bed. By 7:30am I had go through so many scenarios in my head I had to wake Chris up and we had to go to the hospital, even if it was just to ease my mind.
We got to the hospital about 10 mins later. It was so dead there, I had never seen it like that, we only waited 45 mins before I was in, and I saw a doctor right away, which is very rare. I explained my history to the doctor and he was very concerned, they checked my bp, it was 163/97. I had an informal ultrasound but they couldn't see my cervix, which was the doctors main concern. Then I had a pelvic exam which showed the cerclage in a good place, holding, looking sturdy and doing its job. The nurses gave me some Tylenol 3`s and I waited for an ultrasound, which luckily only took 4 hours. The technician was very nice, very thorough and good. My cervix had lengthened to 3cm, which is a good pregnancy length, the baby was fantastic and healthy, there was no inflammation, the only indication that there was an issue, was fluid at the tip of my cervix, which can cause pain or irritation causing contractions. The doctor was still worried and consulted with the Obstetrician on-call, who happened to be my old OB who delivered Isaac. He was concerned too, he was talking cervical amputation cause by the contractions, blah blah blah, then he said they were going to admit me to observe me for 24 hours.
We concluded that the pains were minor contractions caused by irritation to the uterus, big oh no, especially since it was only a week after my cerclage placement. If my uterus was infected they would have to take the cerclage out, and abort the baby...
Then I spiked a fever.... Flashing before my eyes, rerunning this past June over and over again.
They got me to the room in the post surgical ward, which is where I was with Alexander too, 4 rooms down from where I gave birth. I had a roomie, which I had never had before, she was really awesome, an old (not really) pro at being in the hospital.
They started me on Erythromycin.....which 10 mins later I blew my IV and broke into hives all up and down my arm. I had to have benadryl, lol. I am already allergic to 2 families of anti-biotic, and now a third. However they started me on Clindamyacin, and it seemed to be ok and not give me hives. I blew my IV ten times while I was there.
They also gave me an anti-inflammatory and an anti-contraction meds. 18 hours later the contractions stopped. Second ultrasound showed everything was still ok. But I spiked a fever at 3am... More meds and some more observation. But after 14 hours of no more fevers, clean white cell count and no contractions, I was finally sent home so I could spend Christmas with my family. I was given strict rules to rest, to check for fever every 4 hours and if I had the slightest inclination of being Ill, or my contractions come back, or if I bled, I had to come in ASAP. We aren't out of the woods yet, we are still waiting and seeing if I get better or worse, so far so good though. My follow-up is with Dr.I on the 28th. Pray for us, and wish us luck.
I all started with a pain on my right side, right where the baby like to hang out, I thought the baby may have been in a bad place. I moved my tummy, changed positions, drank a whole bunch of water. The pain wouldn't move. Then I started to get pressure in my stomach. I thought I would wait it out, try and go to the washroom, have a little sleep. I woke up at 5am freaking out, it was starting to get worse. But again, I waited it out. Sat up in the bed. By 7:30am I had go through so many scenarios in my head I had to wake Chris up and we had to go to the hospital, even if it was just to ease my mind.
We got to the hospital about 10 mins later. It was so dead there, I had never seen it like that, we only waited 45 mins before I was in, and I saw a doctor right away, which is very rare. I explained my history to the doctor and he was very concerned, they checked my bp, it was 163/97. I had an informal ultrasound but they couldn't see my cervix, which was the doctors main concern. Then I had a pelvic exam which showed the cerclage in a good place, holding, looking sturdy and doing its job. The nurses gave me some Tylenol 3`s and I waited for an ultrasound, which luckily only took 4 hours. The technician was very nice, very thorough and good. My cervix had lengthened to 3cm, which is a good pregnancy length, the baby was fantastic and healthy, there was no inflammation, the only indication that there was an issue, was fluid at the tip of my cervix, which can cause pain or irritation causing contractions. The doctor was still worried and consulted with the Obstetrician on-call, who happened to be my old OB who delivered Isaac. He was concerned too, he was talking cervical amputation cause by the contractions, blah blah blah, then he said they were going to admit me to observe me for 24 hours.
We concluded that the pains were minor contractions caused by irritation to the uterus, big oh no, especially since it was only a week after my cerclage placement. If my uterus was infected they would have to take the cerclage out, and abort the baby...
Then I spiked a fever.... Flashing before my eyes, rerunning this past June over and over again.
They got me to the room in the post surgical ward, which is where I was with Alexander too, 4 rooms down from where I gave birth. I had a roomie, which I had never had before, she was really awesome, an old (not really) pro at being in the hospital.
They started me on Erythromycin.....which 10 mins later I blew my IV and broke into hives all up and down my arm. I had to have benadryl, lol. I am already allergic to 2 families of anti-biotic, and now a third. However they started me on Clindamyacin, and it seemed to be ok and not give me hives. I blew my IV ten times while I was there.
They also gave me an anti-inflammatory and an anti-contraction meds. 18 hours later the contractions stopped. Second ultrasound showed everything was still ok. But I spiked a fever at 3am... More meds and some more observation. But after 14 hours of no more fevers, clean white cell count and no contractions, I was finally sent home so I could spend Christmas with my family. I was given strict rules to rest, to check for fever every 4 hours and if I had the slightest inclination of being Ill, or my contractions come back, or if I bled, I had to come in ASAP. We aren't out of the woods yet, we are still waiting and seeing if I get better or worse, so far so good though. My follow-up is with Dr.I on the 28th. Pray for us, and wish us luck.
Friday 16 December 2011
Cervical Cerclage
Well, Tuesday December 12th was the big day of my Cevical Cerclage. Something I was not looking forward to this pregnancy at all, but knew it had to be done.
I was booked to be at the hospital for 11:55am, was not allowed to eat or drink anything past midnight that day, so nearly 12 hours, and being pregnant, I was STARVING! But I managed to keep my cool. Everyone was very nice and polite. When we were at triage, the lady at the counter said they were expecting me, said hi to Isaac. Everyone was in the Christmas spirit. We got to the Day surgery ward, and again, everyone was very polite. The nurse I had was very gental, she did my IV lickity split, and it only hurt for a few seconds. The wait was short. I was wheeled over to the OR holdingroom, without my glasses, that was awkward, lol. Met with the Resident doctor, he was very nice, he explained everything to me, made sure I was very comfortable. Was sure to tell me the anesthesia was my choice, told me he would run me with antibiotics after the procedure and would do an ultrasound afterwards, it was so nice. Then I met the Anaesthesiologist, he was a nice man, he was very adamant on doing the spinal epidural, but I was not ready for that, I was so anxious, so he agreed the General was best. I met the Doctor, after finding out my OB was sick and could not do it, but it was her partner Dr.C who did it, and he was very nice as well.
We got into the OR, I told them I was very scared. Dr.C actually held my hand, they got me moved onto the bed, then they told me to tip my neck back and take deep breaths of the oxygen (lol oxygen) they had on my face. I had a bit of a panic attack but kept telling myself I'd be out really soon and remember saying, oop, there we go. After the procedure, they pulled the tube up out of my throat and I puked while they did it and I couldn't stop coughing. I got to recovery and had a bad bad pain right in the centre of my pubic area. Once I was awake enough, they gave me Tylenol. The Resident Doctor came back and talked to me, did a quick ultrasound, showing the baby lying sideways its head to my belly, feet to my back, and it was jumping like crazy, so it defiantly tolerated the anaesthesia well. He also told me that my cervix was almost gone, and had they not done the cerclage today, we would have defiantly had a repeat of last time. Luckily its all good.
I felt great afterward, except that I could feel the knot in my cervix, and it was a little sore. I barely had any bleeding whatsoever. I was able to go home by 7pm. Once home I noticed my muscles hurt like crazy. I was in so much pain in my muscles I could not sleep and didnt get to sleep until 4:30am just from pure exhaustion.
The next few days had been hard, needed help to get in the shower, to use the washroom, I can't bend or get up, some of it due to the cerclage, some due to the muscle pain in my ribs and arms. I am doing well though, ventured out for the first time since but had a little bit of bleeding when I got home, so back to lying flat. Baby is fine, been feeling it move a lot. Anyhow, thats that. We have the follow-up on Dec 28th.
14weeks today.
I was booked to be at the hospital for 11:55am, was not allowed to eat or drink anything past midnight that day, so nearly 12 hours, and being pregnant, I was STARVING! But I managed to keep my cool. Everyone was very nice and polite. When we were at triage, the lady at the counter said they were expecting me, said hi to Isaac. Everyone was in the Christmas spirit. We got to the Day surgery ward, and again, everyone was very polite. The nurse I had was very gental, she did my IV lickity split, and it only hurt for a few seconds. The wait was short. I was wheeled over to the OR holdingroom, without my glasses, that was awkward, lol. Met with the Resident doctor, he was very nice, he explained everything to me, made sure I was very comfortable. Was sure to tell me the anesthesia was my choice, told me he would run me with antibiotics after the procedure and would do an ultrasound afterwards, it was so nice. Then I met the Anaesthesiologist, he was a nice man, he was very adamant on doing the spinal epidural, but I was not ready for that, I was so anxious, so he agreed the General was best. I met the Doctor, after finding out my OB was sick and could not do it, but it was her partner Dr.C who did it, and he was very nice as well.
We got into the OR, I told them I was very scared. Dr.C actually held my hand, they got me moved onto the bed, then they told me to tip my neck back and take deep breaths of the oxygen (lol oxygen) they had on my face. I had a bit of a panic attack but kept telling myself I'd be out really soon and remember saying, oop, there we go. After the procedure, they pulled the tube up out of my throat and I puked while they did it and I couldn't stop coughing. I got to recovery and had a bad bad pain right in the centre of my pubic area. Once I was awake enough, they gave me Tylenol. The Resident Doctor came back and talked to me, did a quick ultrasound, showing the baby lying sideways its head to my belly, feet to my back, and it was jumping like crazy, so it defiantly tolerated the anaesthesia well. He also told me that my cervix was almost gone, and had they not done the cerclage today, we would have defiantly had a repeat of last time. Luckily its all good.
I felt great afterward, except that I could feel the knot in my cervix, and it was a little sore. I barely had any bleeding whatsoever. I was able to go home by 7pm. Once home I noticed my muscles hurt like crazy. I was in so much pain in my muscles I could not sleep and didnt get to sleep until 4:30am just from pure exhaustion.
The next few days had been hard, needed help to get in the shower, to use the washroom, I can't bend or get up, some of it due to the cerclage, some due to the muscle pain in my ribs and arms. I am doing well though, ventured out for the first time since but had a little bit of bleeding when I got home, so back to lying flat. Baby is fine, been feeling it move a lot. Anyhow, thats that. We have the follow-up on Dec 28th.
14weeks today.
Thursday 8 December 2011
Wow Baby, Nuchal scan.
So, we had our 12 week ultrasound and Nuchal scan on December 7th, then an Obsetrician appointment today, December 8th. Lets start with the Nuchal Scan.
My results we beyond amazing at the ultrasound, the baby is 100% healthy and has no indicators for any trisomy issues at all. My risks are actually lower then they were when I was pregnant with Isaac, so amazing! Everything is going magically.
baby had a heartbeat of 153bpm, was 6.2cm long. it has my nose, as all my birthed children do. So amazing to see life like that, that only a few weeks ago he was a little blob on the screen.
More News
I had my obstetrician appointment today, and I got my cerclage date. December 13th, as in this Tuesday! I am in shock and so grateful that my husbands work has been so flexible with all of this. He needs to take 5 days off so I can go on bedrest, and he has been to every single appointment with me. I am incredibly nervous.
For those who don't know, a cervical cerclage is a stitch that hold your cervix together to stop the cervix from opening and the baby essentially falling out of you mid-pregnancy, which is kind of what happened with Alexander. They usually do it later in the second trimester, between 16-19 weeks, but since my loss was at 16/17 weeks and I am already having a teeny bit of funnelling, its time to do it now, rather then later. My wonderful OB will be doing it for me in a OR setting. I will be getting a spinal anaesthetic or general, depending on my blood pressure and my anxiety levels, and have to spend the night in the hospital. I will then be on strict rest for 3 days and on rest for 2 more days afterwards.
Something else we discovered today. I have Pregnancy Induced Hypertension 150/100!!. I have to get a blood pressure monitor and check my bp daily, as well as go on medication for the rest of my pregnancy and possibly beyond. I am not overly concerned, I think it has a lot to do with worry and anxiety over the whole pregnancy. My mind can only block so much I guess.
Isaac is good and as sweet as ever. At the OB's today he was being a bit of a nussense, the doctor gave him something to distract him, and this distraction?? A pap smear stick, the flattish plastic thing they use to do the smear with. He called it his "Magic key"....LOL. I laughed so hard after we left, his magic key.
Anyhow, over and over again, we are so blessed to be having such an amazing pregnancy. I could not thank God enough right now. Its nice to finally be getting a hand up rather then being kicked down.
In other things.
Prayers to Michelle Duggar and family (19 kids and counting) for her recent loss of her child inutero in the 2nd trimester.
And Prayers to my husbands friend Noah, who was recently diagnosed with cancer and is essentially fighting for his life.
My results we beyond amazing at the ultrasound, the baby is 100% healthy and has no indicators for any trisomy issues at all. My risks are actually lower then they were when I was pregnant with Isaac, so amazing! Everything is going magically.
baby had a heartbeat of 153bpm, was 6.2cm long. it has my nose, as all my birthed children do. So amazing to see life like that, that only a few weeks ago he was a little blob on the screen.
More News
I had my obstetrician appointment today, and I got my cerclage date. December 13th, as in this Tuesday! I am in shock and so grateful that my husbands work has been so flexible with all of this. He needs to take 5 days off so I can go on bedrest, and he has been to every single appointment with me. I am incredibly nervous.
For those who don't know, a cervical cerclage is a stitch that hold your cervix together to stop the cervix from opening and the baby essentially falling out of you mid-pregnancy, which is kind of what happened with Alexander. They usually do it later in the second trimester, between 16-19 weeks, but since my loss was at 16/17 weeks and I am already having a teeny bit of funnelling, its time to do it now, rather then later. My wonderful OB will be doing it for me in a OR setting. I will be getting a spinal anaesthetic or general, depending on my blood pressure and my anxiety levels, and have to spend the night in the hospital. I will then be on strict rest for 3 days and on rest for 2 more days afterwards.
Something else we discovered today. I have Pregnancy Induced Hypertension 150/100!!. I have to get a blood pressure monitor and check my bp daily, as well as go on medication for the rest of my pregnancy and possibly beyond. I am not overly concerned, I think it has a lot to do with worry and anxiety over the whole pregnancy. My mind can only block so much I guess.
Isaac is good and as sweet as ever. At the OB's today he was being a bit of a nussense, the doctor gave him something to distract him, and this distraction?? A pap smear stick, the flattish plastic thing they use to do the smear with. He called it his "Magic key"....LOL. I laughed so hard after we left, his magic key.
Anyhow, over and over again, we are so blessed to be having such an amazing pregnancy. I could not thank God enough right now. Its nice to finally be getting a hand up rather then being kicked down.
In other things.
Prayers to Michelle Duggar and family (19 kids and counting) for her recent loss of her child inutero in the 2nd trimester.
And Prayers to my husbands friend Noah, who was recently diagnosed with cancer and is essentially fighting for his life.
Sunday 4 December 2011
Odd Baby
This baby is in such a weird spot. I am not used to having a baby up so high and so forward. I have been showing since last week, about Thursday. I can feel the lump right at my pubis. Its so weird. I am getting round ligiment pain, my sides hurt so bad like I've been working out or got tickeled to death. And I can't lie on my stomach or the side of my stomach anymore, I get this odd ache in my belly sides or i feel like I am lying on a baseball. I have my Nuchal Translucency scan on Wednesday, the 7th. Will get pictures and update then.
Monday 28 November 2011
The Secrets out, and Isaac turned 3
I couldn't hold it in anymore and told my family on the weekend.
Friday was Isaac's 3rd birthday, we invited my brother and his wife over for supper and to hang out with Isaac to celebrate his birthday. I made Isaac wait all day before he could open his presents, but since he really had no clue that that's not the way its supposed to be, it didn't matter to him, he was more excited about cake more then anything. He had a really great time and got lots of presents. He got everything he asked for this year.
On Sunday we had a family get together with Isaac's bff Zach and his mom and dad. It was nice, My dad and step-mom came and my younger brother, his wife and their kids came, it was really nice for Isaac to have friends to play with and open presents, he was in his glory, plus we got him a Cars (Disney) cake. He had such a blast. I am still find it hard to believe hes 3.
So, we told my family that we are expecting, so great to get it off our chest, I have no idea why I was so worried. My step-mom was just dumb-found that I held it in and said nothing for so long, she was impressed. Both her and my sister-in-law Tamara screamed like little girls, it was cute. So it out. And I am so happy and relieved. Also announced it on Facebook Sunday night and got sooo much support from everyone, I am so appreciative of all the support my family has, its great.
Tuesday 15 November 2011
Better and Better :D
Ok, still keeping things quiet until about Christmas, so please keep this between you and my blog, thanks so much for understanding.
I could not ask for a better pregnancy so far, this has been so great. I have had minimal spotting and have had none what so ever since about the 3rd of November. And what I did have was so minimal that it really wasn't that concerned.
Had my first OB appointment today and everything is hunky dory, we booked the Nuchal Translucency scan for December 7th. Nuchal scan is an ultrasound the is in depth at looking at the chances for Down syndrome and/or the trisomy's. We did discuss that we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy if we did have something wrong, we just wanted to see what we were faced with.
I didn't get to hear the heartbeat at the office, she said it would be quite ambitious to hear it at 9 and a half week and that next month we will try, and I totally understood that. However, the baby is very anterior and very high, so much so that I can feel the bulge under my belly. Yesterday hubby and I were looking through the toys r us flyer and found they had a prenatal listener on sale for 30 dollars, its a cheap little microphone thing that when placed on your uterus, you can hear the babies noises, but its recommended for the 3rd trimester. Chris and I have been through the heartbeat thing tons of times, we know what it sounds like, and how to find it, so within 5 mins of having this thing out, Chris found our galloping horses (the heartbeat sounds like that). I was so relieved. Now that we know that we can hear it this early, that we can continue to use it and have some much needed relief as we go on.
Ok, so.
November 15th- heard heartbeat for first time.
December 7th- NT scan- will post pics then
December 8th- 2nd OB appointment
I could not ask for a better pregnancy so far, this has been so great. I have had minimal spotting and have had none what so ever since about the 3rd of November. And what I did have was so minimal that it really wasn't that concerned.
Had my first OB appointment today and everything is hunky dory, we booked the Nuchal Translucency scan for December 7th. Nuchal scan is an ultrasound the is in depth at looking at the chances for Down syndrome and/or the trisomy's. We did discuss that we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy if we did have something wrong, we just wanted to see what we were faced with.
I didn't get to hear the heartbeat at the office, she said it would be quite ambitious to hear it at 9 and a half week and that next month we will try, and I totally understood that. However, the baby is very anterior and very high, so much so that I can feel the bulge under my belly. Yesterday hubby and I were looking through the toys r us flyer and found they had a prenatal listener on sale for 30 dollars, its a cheap little microphone thing that when placed on your uterus, you can hear the babies noises, but its recommended for the 3rd trimester. Chris and I have been through the heartbeat thing tons of times, we know what it sounds like, and how to find it, so within 5 mins of having this thing out, Chris found our galloping horses (the heartbeat sounds like that). I was so relieved. Now that we know that we can hear it this early, that we can continue to use it and have some much needed relief as we go on.
Ok, so.
November 15th- heard heartbeat for first time.
December 7th- NT scan- will post pics then
December 8th- 2nd OB appointment
Saturday 22 October 2011
Why Do I Keep Putting Myself Through This?!
What you read here needs to been kept between you and my blog. I know not a lot of people read this, but if you know me on facebook or in real life, please do not mention anything, as we are not telling our entire family until well after 12-15 weeks (mid December 2011).
The Beginning,shhh
Oct 22, 2011
Well, I have a secret and have been holding it in since October 5th. It started with me feeling funny and tired, and not feeling like myself. I also had these nasty cramps, I thought maybe Aunt-flo was coming early, which is bizarre for me, I usually have cycles from 35-45 days, never earlier unless I'm on birth control. So, after telling hubby I wasn't feeling good we both decided to get a pregnancy test just to see, and maybe it will trick my brain into making Aunt-flo come. This is a normal occurrence for women who have been trying to get pregnant, its almost like your brain will think you are pregnant until you test and see that negative, then she will come now that you are more at ease and know.
Hubby went out at 10pm to the local drug store to buy me a pregnancy test. He says, "Don't worry if its negative, Im expecting it". So up the stairs to the bathroom I went. I did my thing, replaced the cap, washed my hands, turned off the light and walked down the stairs to the kitchen where I was about to toss the test in the garbage....wait a minute. There are two pink fricken lines on this thing?! The first thing I think is maybe I still have some pregnancy hormone in my body left over from before, but no...I have had 2 cycles since then, meaning the hormone is gone...So...Omg, this means we are pregnant! I nearly threw up right then and there.
The next day I called the OB, who is the one to oversee my pregnancy (to see an ob in early pregnancy isn't the "norm" in Canada until 25 weeks). She sent me for bloodwork on the 6th, the same day my root canal was being filled, it was a great nerve racking day. Then I went again on October 8th. I didn't get any results until the 11th as Oct 10th was Canadian thanksgiving. They weren't good, so we were all concerned. They were still within the "normal" range but the numbers are supposed to double every 48 hours in early pregnancy and the numbers were very low. The first being 31 and the second being 50. So I was scheduled for bloodwork again on the 18th, so we could also predict when i could get an ultrasound. I went on Oct 18th and received the results on the 19th. If they were doubling at the same 66hr rate as before, they should have been at about 500, however, they decided to jump and reached an impressive 2589! Sure, we speculated twins for a day or so, lol, but hcg numbers really have nothing to do with that. When the nurse called on the 19th she also gave me an appointment time for an ultrasound.
You have to think now... Its only been 3, almost 4 months since Alexander left us. I am in utter shock. I also have no symptoms other then a tiny bit of nausea and heartburn. We were also not trying at all, we had decided to put this off until after Christmas so there would be less stress, i find it odd that I didnt need to track anything or write anything down and it happened completely on its own.
So... I had my ultrasound on Friday the 21st. Hubby came but wasn't allowed in since they had to do an internal. And baby bean measured a perfect 6 weeks 0days. Crown-rump length of 3.2mm and a nice starting heart rate of 95bpm. My little grain of rice. So, here we are, in this beginning stages of limbo yet again, and only time will tell how this will turn out. I have put in a lot of faith in God with this. I basically have left it in his hands, and since doing that, I have surprisingly been very calm and collective, feeling very normal and not wincing at every nudge and ache. I feel really good so far.
The next steps is to get the ultrasound results, which I know are good, but the technician was going to recommend another one in 2 weeks. Then I should be getting the cerclage around 12-13 weeks. (the cervical stitch). I am really nervous about that as they need to do a spinal anesthetic, and I am terrified of needles in my back. I have laboured naturally 3 times because I would rather feel the pain of that then ever have a needle in my back, but whatever I guess, there has to be a point in your life that you have to face your worst fears at least once.
Today I would be 6weeks and 1 day pregnant. Please keep us in your thoughts an prayers that my body, and my mind don't face yet another tragedy. This is the last time I will endure this.
Why Do They Make You Panic?
Post #2 October 28, 2011.
So, on Tuesday my OB called and said they didn't see everything they wanted to see on the last ultrasound, so they sent me back again. I ended up having some spotting this week too, probably from the ultrasound last week, but its still a shock to see blood. So, the ultrasound went well. I still have a bean in there, measuring between 6 weeks 4 days and 6 weeks 6 days, so technically only a day behind from last week, but it was a different technician and a different machine, and since the baby was so tiny last week the measurements may have been a little off. The have estimated my due date for June 16/ 2012. So the little heartbeat was 116bpm, which is perfect for the gestational age, and the crown-rump length was 7.2mm. the miscarriage percentage went do to 30% for us, but there is still a long way to go before we are out of the woods. Each new week is a milestone.
Worry-warts
Post #3- November 3rd, 2011
Well, I have had some spotting off and on for about a week, and after trick or treating with Isaac on Monday I started to have a little heavier bleeding. Then on Wednesday, the 2nd, I had clotting and some horrible cramps right in the center of my uterus. I again am feeling devistated, but I need to remain positive before I know for sure. I finally called my OB office, and the wonderful nurse booked me for a peace of mind ultrasound for Monday, November 7th. I will update then.
As Always, Everything is Okay
Post #4 November 7, 2011.
As usual, everything is fine. I have made the decision to post this today, since 8 weeks is past our first mile stone. This by no means we are out of the woods at all, it just means that the baby is healthy and growing so far, still a long road ahead. I have an appointment with the OB on November 15th. I have some questions to ask her about blood clotting mutations in my blood and to see if i should be on blood thinners other then asprin. All is well though, still taking things day by day.
8 weeks 3 days, heartbeating 171 bpm
The Beginning,shhh
Oct 22, 2011
Well, I have a secret and have been holding it in since October 5th. It started with me feeling funny and tired, and not feeling like myself. I also had these nasty cramps, I thought maybe Aunt-flo was coming early, which is bizarre for me, I usually have cycles from 35-45 days, never earlier unless I'm on birth control. So, after telling hubby I wasn't feeling good we both decided to get a pregnancy test just to see, and maybe it will trick my brain into making Aunt-flo come. This is a normal occurrence for women who have been trying to get pregnant, its almost like your brain will think you are pregnant until you test and see that negative, then she will come now that you are more at ease and know.
Hubby went out at 10pm to the local drug store to buy me a pregnancy test. He says, "Don't worry if its negative, Im expecting it". So up the stairs to the bathroom I went. I did my thing, replaced the cap, washed my hands, turned off the light and walked down the stairs to the kitchen where I was about to toss the test in the garbage....wait a minute. There are two pink fricken lines on this thing?! The first thing I think is maybe I still have some pregnancy hormone in my body left over from before, but no...I have had 2 cycles since then, meaning the hormone is gone...So...Omg, this means we are pregnant! I nearly threw up right then and there.
The next day I called the OB, who is the one to oversee my pregnancy (to see an ob in early pregnancy isn't the "norm" in Canada until 25 weeks). She sent me for bloodwork on the 6th, the same day my root canal was being filled, it was a great nerve racking day. Then I went again on October 8th. I didn't get any results until the 11th as Oct 10th was Canadian thanksgiving. They weren't good, so we were all concerned. They were still within the "normal" range but the numbers are supposed to double every 48 hours in early pregnancy and the numbers were very low. The first being 31 and the second being 50. So I was scheduled for bloodwork again on the 18th, so we could also predict when i could get an ultrasound. I went on Oct 18th and received the results on the 19th. If they were doubling at the same 66hr rate as before, they should have been at about 500, however, they decided to jump and reached an impressive 2589! Sure, we speculated twins for a day or so, lol, but hcg numbers really have nothing to do with that. When the nurse called on the 19th she also gave me an appointment time for an ultrasound.
You have to think now... Its only been 3, almost 4 months since Alexander left us. I am in utter shock. I also have no symptoms other then a tiny bit of nausea and heartburn. We were also not trying at all, we had decided to put this off until after Christmas so there would be less stress, i find it odd that I didnt need to track anything or write anything down and it happened completely on its own.
So... I had my ultrasound on Friday the 21st. Hubby came but wasn't allowed in since they had to do an internal. And baby bean measured a perfect 6 weeks 0days. Crown-rump length of 3.2mm and a nice starting heart rate of 95bpm. My little grain of rice. So, here we are, in this beginning stages of limbo yet again, and only time will tell how this will turn out. I have put in a lot of faith in God with this. I basically have left it in his hands, and since doing that, I have surprisingly been very calm and collective, feeling very normal and not wincing at every nudge and ache. I feel really good so far.
The next steps is to get the ultrasound results, which I know are good, but the technician was going to recommend another one in 2 weeks. Then I should be getting the cerclage around 12-13 weeks. (the cervical stitch). I am really nervous about that as they need to do a spinal anesthetic, and I am terrified of needles in my back. I have laboured naturally 3 times because I would rather feel the pain of that then ever have a needle in my back, but whatever I guess, there has to be a point in your life that you have to face your worst fears at least once.
Today I would be 6weeks and 1 day pregnant. Please keep us in your thoughts an prayers that my body, and my mind don't face yet another tragedy. This is the last time I will endure this.
Why Do They Make You Panic?
Post #2 October 28, 2011.
So, on Tuesday my OB called and said they didn't see everything they wanted to see on the last ultrasound, so they sent me back again. I ended up having some spotting this week too, probably from the ultrasound last week, but its still a shock to see blood. So, the ultrasound went well. I still have a bean in there, measuring between 6 weeks 4 days and 6 weeks 6 days, so technically only a day behind from last week, but it was a different technician and a different machine, and since the baby was so tiny last week the measurements may have been a little off. The have estimated my due date for June 16/ 2012. So the little heartbeat was 116bpm, which is perfect for the gestational age, and the crown-rump length was 7.2mm. the miscarriage percentage went do to 30% for us, but there is still a long way to go before we are out of the woods. Each new week is a milestone.
Worry-warts
Post #3- November 3rd, 2011
Well, I have had some spotting off and on for about a week, and after trick or treating with Isaac on Monday I started to have a little heavier bleeding. Then on Wednesday, the 2nd, I had clotting and some horrible cramps right in the center of my uterus. I again am feeling devistated, but I need to remain positive before I know for sure. I finally called my OB office, and the wonderful nurse booked me for a peace of mind ultrasound for Monday, November 7th. I will update then.
As Always, Everything is Okay
Post #4 November 7, 2011.
As usual, everything is fine. I have made the decision to post this today, since 8 weeks is past our first mile stone. This by no means we are out of the woods at all, it just means that the baby is healthy and growing so far, still a long road ahead. I have an appointment with the OB on November 15th. I have some questions to ask her about blood clotting mutations in my blood and to see if i should be on blood thinners other then asprin. All is well though, still taking things day by day.
8 weeks 3 days, heartbeating 171 bpm
Saturday 15 October 2011
October 15th. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence Day
Today was filled with more significance then it ever has for me. Today was the day of The Calgary Pregnancy and Infant Loss Memorial Service.
Today we honoured and remembered Alexander.
We started the day at Safeway, where we bought a beautiful bouquet of "crazy daisies" Which has significance to me, both the flowers from our wedding and the flowers my husband bought me when we passed out 12 week mark with Alexander. While in the parking lot off in the distance, over the cemetery, there was this beautiful cloud formation with rays of sunshine shining thorough. Also significant to me, something I have always taken as a sign from God that there is peace among us.
We arrived at the Chapel at 10am and lit a candle in remembrance. We then sat and listened to the service. Isaac was very good, he listened well and asked all kind of questions and remained quiet when others spoke. We received a single Carnation and a smoothed natural quartz rock with Alexanders name on it. We then went to the Silent Hopes garden and buried the ashes of all the passed babies from the last year. We finished the symbolism by sprinkling sand on the ashes, and a closing prayer.
It was beautiful. Such an amazing day for us, the feeling of peace and comfort. There was also a Proclamation plaque from the city mayor the stated that the City of Calgary recognised October 15th as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, which means a lot to loss parents.
We also lit a candle at 7pm during what is called the Wave of Light, which everyone affected by a loss, across the world, at 7pm, also light a candle in remembrance.
A chapter in my life is closed. Amen.
Today we honoured and remembered Alexander.
We started the day at Safeway, where we bought a beautiful bouquet of "crazy daisies" Which has significance to me, both the flowers from our wedding and the flowers my husband bought me when we passed out 12 week mark with Alexander. While in the parking lot off in the distance, over the cemetery, there was this beautiful cloud formation with rays of sunshine shining thorough. Also significant to me, something I have always taken as a sign from God that there is peace among us.
We arrived at the Chapel at 10am and lit a candle in remembrance. We then sat and listened to the service. Isaac was very good, he listened well and asked all kind of questions and remained quiet when others spoke. We received a single Carnation and a smoothed natural quartz rock with Alexanders name on it. We then went to the Silent Hopes garden and buried the ashes of all the passed babies from the last year. We finished the symbolism by sprinkling sand on the ashes, and a closing prayer.
It was beautiful. Such an amazing day for us, the feeling of peace and comfort. There was also a Proclamation plaque from the city mayor the stated that the City of Calgary recognised October 15th as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, which means a lot to loss parents.
We also lit a candle at 7pm during what is called the Wave of Light, which everyone affected by a loss, across the world, at 7pm, also light a candle in remembrance.
A chapter in my life is closed. Amen.
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Autumn
The season has changed. It's been 3+ months since Alex's passing. The hardest part is that my step-sister, bless her soul, Is due 2 days sooner then I was, and her pregnancy is chugging right along, she is having a boy as well and she just passed 31 weeks. Its kind of a heartbreaker really, but I can't expect the whole world to stop having babies just because I am a little depressed over something completely out of my control. I am genuinely very happy for her and and boyfriend, they will be awesome parents.
I became an Aunt on September 3rd to my younger brother D and his fiancee T, they had a beautiful little boy named Tristan. Isaac thinks all these babies are pretty cool, he loves pregnant bellies.
I have been getting out more, I had to stop seeing my bestfriend, her life was just to dramatic for me, after 15 years of being by each others side, I noticed that I really don't have many friend, her an I were so close we had no need to have others in our lives, but we have truly grown apart. So I have been opening myself up to other people I haven't spoken to in a long time and that have more in common with me. I re acquainted myself with a Friend from Juniour High school who has a son who is only a year older then Isaac, and an old friend I have actually known since I we were 4, who has an 8 year old daughter and is expecting a second daughter in Jan 2012. Its been really nice to have other people to talk to and relate too. I feel much less alone.
The Decision.
So, we decided we are going to attempt to have another baby. Not to replace Alexander, but to fill the hole of wanting another child. We have both spent a lot of time discussing this and both feel that this is what we want. We are already unofficially trying at this point, we call it "Not trying but not preventing". I have had pretty regular cycles since July but my ovulation pattern is very erratic, some times early, late or not at all. I absolutely hated this part the 4 years prior to Isaac, never knowing for sure, and using kits and temping is so hard on my psyche. If we aren't pregnant by January then we will do all that stuff I suppose, we are really just taking it day by day, wait for Isaac's 3rd birthday to pass and Christmas before we add the stress. I am pretty sure I will be a parent again, I really don't see why not. Anyhow, that's my news. Take care.
Friday 9 September 2011
Given the Ok to Try Again.
We had our 8 week check up on the 7th and met our new OBGyn. Dr.K. She self referred me to her, when we met in the hospital she found me interesting, and a "trouble maker" (Needs constant monitoring in pregnancy). She told us at our appointment that she wants to be the one who is in charge of our care from day one. Our results came back normal, so no known cause. I mentioned to her that I thought I had Asherman's Syndrome (when scar tissue grows within the walls of the uterus due to harm in the uterus, like a forced dilation, or a biopsy). She said it was probable, and since my babies like to stick to my uterus, its good indication that I have it, however, all it will really do is cause an Incompetent cervix and Placenta Accreta (growth in the walls and inability to detach w/o surgery). I was told that I need to be on prometrium if we get pregnant again, that I am going to get a stitch at 13 weeks, and when she removes the stitch she will also induce and have me have an epidural so that she can just go in immediately after delivery and remove the placenta and tie my tubes (which we will doing if everything goes as planned). Anyhow, we are still very much on the fence as to when we want to try again. I would like to jumpstart my cycles with the pill again, since I have such good luck getting pregnant and staying pregnant when I come off of it. Anyhow, its in the plan, just don't know when. Stay tuned.
Sunday 24 July 2011
3+ Weeks, and doing ok.
Its been 3 weeks and 3 days since Baby Alex passed away, some days are better then others, but I seems to be doing ok. I didn't want to automatically go on anti-depressants just to see if I could handle and deal with things on my own on my own terms, and some days are hard, but seriously, I don't have any more stress then I normally would. I sometimes feel like I don't get to grieve, but I do, I have had a few good cries in the night after Isaac goes to sleep. My husband has been a real rock for me over the last few weeks too, hes so great and is really the only one who can truly understand what our family is going through.
As far as TTC goes, we are really on the fence. We will go to the obgyn to get results and to see what we need to do if it happens, but as far as things go at this point in time, I am very much not ready to take that step again. I only ever wanted 3 children, and God gave me 3 children, although I only parent one, maybe that's the way it is meant to be. I feel like I have supplied heaven with a football team, and I am getting pretty sick of it. I am angry in a way, of course. I have no one to place blame on so I just sit and stew on it. I think it is totally unfair that my family was chosen to suffer such loss. I know there are people out there who have suffered worse, but right now I am very focused on me. I think it is unfair to always have my children taken away from me, and I have become very very very protective over Isaac lately. My husband, thank God, understands and thinks that it is very normal.
I feel alone a lot, my bff and I aren't getting to see each other often. She recently had her 3rd child on June 16th and her husband and I had a falling out, so we are speaking to each other on the down low. My mom isn't here either, when I feel I need her most, but such is life, she was recently laid-off from her job so she has no means to visit right now. My step mother has taken the summer off, but I really haven't taken the opportunity to see her. I think in a way, though I need to be around people, I feel better being alone, I have always been like that, as long as Chris is around once in a while for me to break down on. Isaac has been better too. He was very hard to deal with at first, he was very much grieving too, but i think since he is so young, he kind of stopped getting upset and asking where the baby was. He doesn't still ask, but doesn't get angry anymore and has returned to his fun little self. Anyhow, that's all I really have to update on right now.
Thursday 7 July 2011
One week later.....
Ugh, I am not doing well at all. It seems that all of the grief I have had from the last 7 years is coming straight at me again. I am mourning all of my losses, with Alex being the strongest. I feel like I am a giant open wound. My heart has a big piece missing from it and I feel so lonely and empty. It has been so difficult dealing with Isaac, he is grieving in his own little way and is taking it out as anger, and since he is only 2, mom is the brunt of it.
I cry non stop. I am so lonely. I miss Chris. He has to work all day, so I don't get to see him until after 6, then all we do is sit and I cry.
I have started getting angry, especially at my body. I have a lot of extra weight, and I want it all gone, get off of me, like dirt. I have barely been able to eat as it is, so I am sure it won't take much to get that all off. I am mad at my reproductiveness. I am mad that my body gave out on me, and I hate myself for it. I am probably the lowest of the low, but still, remembering that I have a family that needs me, and cares so much for me, so its not like I am going to go do something stupid. I really have a lot to live for.
The days are difficult. I close my eyes and I see my baby. I cry at everything.
I know there are brighter days ahead, this is definitely not the be all and end all, there is a whole future to look forward to. My dear son that I do have, he is growing so fast and is so smart, before I know it he will be graduating from highschool. Isaac is truly my life, he is and has been my everything.
Ok, this is just ramblings now. Basically I still feel a lot of pain, though he was only here for a short 4 months, Alex was already very much a part of me, someone who took me a long time to get used to, finally letting myself get used to the idea of being pregnant again, and that everything was going to be ok, but then I got it all swiped from under me. It hurts. A lot.
I cry non stop. I am so lonely. I miss Chris. He has to work all day, so I don't get to see him until after 6, then all we do is sit and I cry.
I have started getting angry, especially at my body. I have a lot of extra weight, and I want it all gone, get off of me, like dirt. I have barely been able to eat as it is, so I am sure it won't take much to get that all off. I am mad at my reproductiveness. I am mad that my body gave out on me, and I hate myself for it. I am probably the lowest of the low, but still, remembering that I have a family that needs me, and cares so much for me, so its not like I am going to go do something stupid. I really have a lot to live for.
The days are difficult. I close my eyes and I see my baby. I cry at everything.
I know there are brighter days ahead, this is definitely not the be all and end all, there is a whole future to look forward to. My dear son that I do have, he is growing so fast and is so smart, before I know it he will be graduating from highschool. Isaac is truly my life, he is and has been my everything.
Ok, this is just ramblings now. Basically I still feel a lot of pain, though he was only here for a short 4 months, Alex was already very much a part of me, someone who took me a long time to get used to, finally letting myself get used to the idea of being pregnant again, and that everything was going to be ok, but then I got it all swiped from under me. It hurts. A lot.
Friday 1 July 2011
Alexander Michael, in memoriam.
In Memoriam
June 28th
I had this nagging ache, really just irritating, nothing I was to concerned about. It progressed and got worse. I put off going to the doctors. It got worse.
Around midnight we headed to the hospital emergency. Once there I noticed there was a huge group of people waiting, and figured my problem was no more then a bad bladder infection. We headed back home to see the doctor over the next few days.
June 29
I woke up, and the pain was way worse. We made it to the hospital about 11:30am, but I was not checked in until 1:30 in the afternoon. They have this "Pre-emerg" area at our hospital where they assess you before they figure out where they put you. I had a informal ultrasound and got to see my little guy suck his thumb, the baby was perfectly fine, but they wanted to check other things like a bladder infection, or cervical infection, possible appendix...
They booked me for a formal ultrasound so I got put in the "Rapid Action Zone" where they sit you in a reclining chair until a doctor sees you. I needed fluid to do the ultrasound so they started me an IV and I sat until 4pm. The ultrasound seemed to take a really long time, I was viewed, then he would go, then come back, then go. The baby looked good, measured 17 weeks. Had a heart rate of 155 beats a minute, but they spotted contractions. I had two of them while I laid there for an hour. They did check my cervix, and stated that it was about 2.4 cm long, which he said was average, and closed. They were also thinking appendix. So, this pain is getting more intense as we speak. I got back to the RAZ unit, they told me they would be doing a pelvic exam but had to wait until the privacy room ( a room with walls and a door rather then a curtain or a recliner) was cleaned, there had been another woman with pregnancy issues in that room.
About 6pm they got me into the room, and I laid down for the pelvic exam. The doctor inserted the speculum, and instantly said to the nurse in the room, "We need to get gynie down here NOW". Then he turned to me and said they yes, my cervix was opened, and there were membranes protruding from the cervix. We assume the pain was contractions in my cervix pushing on the membranes. I instantly fell apart. I assumed there was something they could do, but he noted that you really cannot push something that's outside of the body back in without risking extreme infection. The nurse said not to give up hope, that doctors work miracles now-a-days, and maybe they can do something. I asked for the on call social worked, since Chris was at home with Isaac, and I asked for spiritual council, and they both came and kept me company. I called Chris and told him to take Isaac to my dads for the night and get over here as soon as possible. The social worker was very helpful, she got me what I needed, kept me company and kept me sane. The Reverend was wonderful, we mostly just talked to each other, he also kept me calm and shared some stories and insight with me.
I had gotten up to change position and I gushed blood. Not a good sign.
So Chris came and had it explained to him what was happened. We were diagnosed with an Incompetent Cervix, where the cervix can no long hold the weight of the pregnancy, or gets an infection and causes contractions. We were told that since we were bleeding there really was no good news, and that we were in labour. I got up and went to the washroom, and as I came back to the room I had a contraction that made me scream. We got me back onto the bed, where I got really nauseous and asked Chris for the bucket, and as I gagged my water broke. There went any hope we had had at all.
They moved us to another unit in the ER, where there were more private rooms and was specific to gynecological issues. They were waiting for a bed to open in the OB unit, where I would be birthing. Around 11pm I got to the room upstairs. I was so sad, so upset. Chris by my side the whole time. I had a contraction that had the entire nursing unit at my bedside.
June 30th
They made me comfortable, told me what to expect, gave me the "Morphine button" and gravol for my nausea, as well as antibiotics. We decided that we wanted to move things along, since my contractions were useless and so far apart, so they placed an octagonal pill in my cervix and I lied still for half an hour. Then I got tight zapping pains back to back. I had got up again, to go to the washroom, layed back down and felt something there in my groin, so we called the doctor, and they agreed that it would not be long, and literally less then 20 mins it started happening. It was very difficult. I did not have an "push" in me, not strong enough contractions, so I had to do it on my own
We did it. The baby was born still, no doubt, he was only 17 weeks, at 3:45am. He was beautiful for what he was. He looked perfectly human, developed. but he was red. But he had features and he was smiling. He looked a lot like Isaac did when he was born. He also had a smile on his face. And to me, that was the most amazing thing. We named him Alexander Michael.
I bearly had time to think and I started gushing blood, it was so bad that I saw stars, hear that high pitched whine and followed the white light. Between where the bed was, to being wheeled to the door, I passed out. I woke up in the ER where they were setting me up for surgery. They calmed me down and I remember waking up in recovery and the nurses yelling at me to breath every couple of seconds. Every time I would start to fall asleep I would stop breathing.
I got back to my room and was told I would have to stay for another day since my white blood cells were sky high and I needed IV antibiotics. I was very upset.
Chris and I decided to have the baby cremated and placed in a communal garden for stillborn babies. I wanted him to be with other babies. We got to spend 12 hours with him though. We said our prayers, gave him our love and tried to let him go physically as best we could. We kissed him good by, and Chris took him out of the room to the nurse.
We got to keep a box of keepsakes, a tiny teddybear, a tiny hat, an outfit that never would have fit him. A beautiful knit blanket. A card with his footprints, a certificate of life and various odds and ends, a card, bracelets.
The experience, as I wrote it, is easy. To relive it in my mind it was to difficult. I believe that I did give birth to a baby, as young as he was, he had everything he needed, they just weren't as developed as it needed to be. He is a son, I birthed him. He is Isaac's brother. I do love him, and I loved seeing him, and being with him. It is still very surreal, and I have yet to experience it completely. I still have a ton of grieving to do. I appreciate the experience, but sure do wish I could have my full term baby in my arms at home with me.
God Speed baby Alex. Carry on my wayward son.
June 28th
I had this nagging ache, really just irritating, nothing I was to concerned about. It progressed and got worse. I put off going to the doctors. It got worse.
Around midnight we headed to the hospital emergency. Once there I noticed there was a huge group of people waiting, and figured my problem was no more then a bad bladder infection. We headed back home to see the doctor over the next few days.
June 29
I woke up, and the pain was way worse. We made it to the hospital about 11:30am, but I was not checked in until 1:30 in the afternoon. They have this "Pre-emerg" area at our hospital where they assess you before they figure out where they put you. I had a informal ultrasound and got to see my little guy suck his thumb, the baby was perfectly fine, but they wanted to check other things like a bladder infection, or cervical infection, possible appendix...
They booked me for a formal ultrasound so I got put in the "Rapid Action Zone" where they sit you in a reclining chair until a doctor sees you. I needed fluid to do the ultrasound so they started me an IV and I sat until 4pm. The ultrasound seemed to take a really long time, I was viewed, then he would go, then come back, then go. The baby looked good, measured 17 weeks. Had a heart rate of 155 beats a minute, but they spotted contractions. I had two of them while I laid there for an hour. They did check my cervix, and stated that it was about 2.4 cm long, which he said was average, and closed. They were also thinking appendix. So, this pain is getting more intense as we speak. I got back to the RAZ unit, they told me they would be doing a pelvic exam but had to wait until the privacy room ( a room with walls and a door rather then a curtain or a recliner) was cleaned, there had been another woman with pregnancy issues in that room.
About 6pm they got me into the room, and I laid down for the pelvic exam. The doctor inserted the speculum, and instantly said to the nurse in the room, "We need to get gynie down here NOW". Then he turned to me and said they yes, my cervix was opened, and there were membranes protruding from the cervix. We assume the pain was contractions in my cervix pushing on the membranes. I instantly fell apart. I assumed there was something they could do, but he noted that you really cannot push something that's outside of the body back in without risking extreme infection. The nurse said not to give up hope, that doctors work miracles now-a-days, and maybe they can do something. I asked for the on call social worked, since Chris was at home with Isaac, and I asked for spiritual council, and they both came and kept me company. I called Chris and told him to take Isaac to my dads for the night and get over here as soon as possible. The social worker was very helpful, she got me what I needed, kept me company and kept me sane. The Reverend was wonderful, we mostly just talked to each other, he also kept me calm and shared some stories and insight with me.
I had gotten up to change position and I gushed blood. Not a good sign.
So Chris came and had it explained to him what was happened. We were diagnosed with an Incompetent Cervix, where the cervix can no long hold the weight of the pregnancy, or gets an infection and causes contractions. We were told that since we were bleeding there really was no good news, and that we were in labour. I got up and went to the washroom, and as I came back to the room I had a contraction that made me scream. We got me back onto the bed, where I got really nauseous and asked Chris for the bucket, and as I gagged my water broke. There went any hope we had had at all.
They moved us to another unit in the ER, where there were more private rooms and was specific to gynecological issues. They were waiting for a bed to open in the OB unit, where I would be birthing. Around 11pm I got to the room upstairs. I was so sad, so upset. Chris by my side the whole time. I had a contraction that had the entire nursing unit at my bedside.
June 30th
They made me comfortable, told me what to expect, gave me the "Morphine button" and gravol for my nausea, as well as antibiotics. We decided that we wanted to move things along, since my contractions were useless and so far apart, so they placed an octagonal pill in my cervix and I lied still for half an hour. Then I got tight zapping pains back to back. I had got up again, to go to the washroom, layed back down and felt something there in my groin, so we called the doctor, and they agreed that it would not be long, and literally less then 20 mins it started happening. It was very difficult. I did not have an "push" in me, not strong enough contractions, so I had to do it on my own
We did it. The baby was born still, no doubt, he was only 17 weeks, at 3:45am. He was beautiful for what he was. He looked perfectly human, developed. but he was red. But he had features and he was smiling. He looked a lot like Isaac did when he was born. He also had a smile on his face. And to me, that was the most amazing thing. We named him Alexander Michael.
I bearly had time to think and I started gushing blood, it was so bad that I saw stars, hear that high pitched whine and followed the white light. Between where the bed was, to being wheeled to the door, I passed out. I woke up in the ER where they were setting me up for surgery. They calmed me down and I remember waking up in recovery and the nurses yelling at me to breath every couple of seconds. Every time I would start to fall asleep I would stop breathing.
I got back to my room and was told I would have to stay for another day since my white blood cells were sky high and I needed IV antibiotics. I was very upset.
Chris and I decided to have the baby cremated and placed in a communal garden for stillborn babies. I wanted him to be with other babies. We got to spend 12 hours with him though. We said our prayers, gave him our love and tried to let him go physically as best we could. We kissed him good by, and Chris took him out of the room to the nurse.
We got to keep a box of keepsakes, a tiny teddybear, a tiny hat, an outfit that never would have fit him. A beautiful knit blanket. A card with his footprints, a certificate of life and various odds and ends, a card, bracelets.
The experience, as I wrote it, is easy. To relive it in my mind it was to difficult. I believe that I did give birth to a baby, as young as he was, he had everything he needed, they just weren't as developed as it needed to be. He is a son, I birthed him. He is Isaac's brother. I do love him, and I loved seeing him, and being with him. It is still very surreal, and I have yet to experience it completely. I still have a ton of grieving to do. I appreciate the experience, but sure do wish I could have my full term baby in my arms at home with me.
God Speed baby Alex. Carry on my wayward son.
Sunday 12 June 2011
Mid June
Oh man, I feel great today. I have so much energy, I just feel fabulous! Today I am 14 weeks pregnant according to my Dec 11th due date. Things have been fantastic, I have had minimal spotting, nearly no morning sickness so far, only gained 4 lbs in the first trimester, and my blood pressure has dropped to normal. Pregnancy does me good.
I am in the second trimester now, which is great, we have passed the first critical stages of pregnancy. I have relaxed a lot, and am taking it in. Getting excited. We have out gender scan booked for July 12, so a month to the day away.
Celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary yesterday. It was uneventful. We went out for dinner with Isaac and then went home, Isaac fell asleep on the way home so we had some us time. Hubby had to work until 6, when he should have been off at 3, so that put a damper on us having more time together, but it was really nice.
Isaac has become a big helper, he has been cleaning up after himself, helping sweep the floor, vacuuming, dusting, dressing himself (kinda). Its really sweet that he wants to help so much. He is becoming aware that a baby is coming, he gets that there is a baby in my tummy, but frequently forgets. Luckily my bff is 9 months pregnant, so he has go to see her belly grow, then over the next week or so he will understand that belly means baby. He is excited.
We ha vent bought anything, I really don't know when the appropriate time is to do that. I think I will wait until our next ultrasound so we know what we are having and what condition the pregnancy is in. Then again, maybe not, we might just start doing it now. ?. I did buy a couple paci's and a 3 pack of onesies that were onsale. Thats it so far though.
Anyhow, that is all. Waiting for my bff to have her baby, she just hit 39 weeks and no baby yet, which I think is pretty good for baby #3. Both her girls were 5lbs, this big boy will be atleast 7lbs. She says it is due to less stress in her life, which I agree with.
Until next time :).S
I am in the second trimester now, which is great, we have passed the first critical stages of pregnancy. I have relaxed a lot, and am taking it in. Getting excited. We have out gender scan booked for July 12, so a month to the day away.
Celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary yesterday. It was uneventful. We went out for dinner with Isaac and then went home, Isaac fell asleep on the way home so we had some us time. Hubby had to work until 6, when he should have been off at 3, so that put a damper on us having more time together, but it was really nice.
Isaac has become a big helper, he has been cleaning up after himself, helping sweep the floor, vacuuming, dusting, dressing himself (kinda). Its really sweet that he wants to help so much. He is becoming aware that a baby is coming, he gets that there is a baby in my tummy, but frequently forgets. Luckily my bff is 9 months pregnant, so he has go to see her belly grow, then over the next week or so he will understand that belly means baby. He is excited.
We ha vent bought anything, I really don't know when the appropriate time is to do that. I think I will wait until our next ultrasound so we know what we are having and what condition the pregnancy is in. Then again, maybe not, we might just start doing it now. ?. I did buy a couple paci's and a 3 pack of onesies that were onsale. Thats it so far though.
Anyhow, that is all. Waiting for my bff to have her baby, she just hit 39 weeks and no baby yet, which I think is pretty good for baby #3. Both her girls were 5lbs, this big boy will be atleast 7lbs. She says it is due to less stress in her life, which I agree with.
Until next time :).S
Thursday 26 May 2011
Good News and Bad News
Well, lets start with the good news first. I had an ultrasound today to check on the baby from having some heavy bleeding a few weeks ago. I discovered that there is a cute little baby human in there, measuring 11wks and 4 days. So cute, so special. Its heartbeat is in the 170's still and things look healthy as far as the baby is concerned. However... There is a clot, a big one, on top of the placenta. This could potentially cause a miscarriage by placenta abrupto, when the placenta seperates from the wall of the uterus. I have an ultrasound in July to check on it. Nothing can be done. I am assuming its from the moron "resident" doctor that tugged harder then hell on my cord after Isaac was born and left a huge chunck of placenta inside of me that I had to go to the hospital emerg for a D&C and infection a month later. I am in pain, but I think its psychosymatic, because I was feel fantastic before that. Anyhow, thats my news.
Thursday 5 May 2011
Hello Baby, nice to finally see you!
I had an ultrasound today, and glory be, there is a baby in there! I am measuring 8weeks and 2 days, changing my due date to December 13th, and its little heartbeat is 176bpm, I cried, and I giggled like a school girl. I am so relieved. AMEN!
Friday 29 April 2011
Getting mentally sick of pregnancy limbo.
Omgoodness, I am so sick of this...
So, on Easter Sunday, April 24, I passed some tissue, which is normally a huge indicator of miscarriage, then I had a day of somewhat heavy bleeding... However, I now feel excellent, I have minor cramps that feel like normal pregnancy related cramps, my breasts are sensitive and my moods and sense of smell are through the roof. Hubby thinks I may of had a cyst or fibroid that my body really did not want in the baby zone. I am still cautiously optimistic, I still have no feelings towards this pregnancy, I am numb to it, but I am so sick and tired of going through this, I wish it would happen or I would stay pregnant, I wish it wasn't a 12 hour wait at the hospital to get an ER ultrasound, I wish doctors showed more compassion towards women who think there is something wrong with their babies. I just want this horror to be over, to know for sure, to see a heartbeat or not see it, and to move on with my life. I have my final blood test on Monday May 2nd to see if the numbers are still raising. If they are then I wait for an ultrasound until my nuchal scan somewhere around 12 weeks, but I am going to plead with my doctor that I need something done now before I go nuts and do something stupid, because my emotions are really sick of being toyed with. I get results on Tuesday, if I have time to, i will update then, or Wednesday.
So, on Easter Sunday, April 24, I passed some tissue, which is normally a huge indicator of miscarriage, then I had a day of somewhat heavy bleeding... However, I now feel excellent, I have minor cramps that feel like normal pregnancy related cramps, my breasts are sensitive and my moods and sense of smell are through the roof. Hubby thinks I may of had a cyst or fibroid that my body really did not want in the baby zone. I am still cautiously optimistic, I still have no feelings towards this pregnancy, I am numb to it, but I am so sick and tired of going through this, I wish it would happen or I would stay pregnant, I wish it wasn't a 12 hour wait at the hospital to get an ER ultrasound, I wish doctors showed more compassion towards women who think there is something wrong with their babies. I just want this horror to be over, to know for sure, to see a heartbeat or not see it, and to move on with my life. I have my final blood test on Monday May 2nd to see if the numbers are still raising. If they are then I wait for an ultrasound until my nuchal scan somewhere around 12 weeks, but I am going to plead with my doctor that I need something done now before I go nuts and do something stupid, because my emotions are really sick of being toyed with. I get results on Tuesday, if I have time to, i will update then, or Wednesday.
Tuesday 19 April 2011
WTF? I am so confused.
I went and did some bloodwork on the 18th of April, just to make sure my numbers were ok or going down, low and behold, they raised!!! Right where they should be for how pregnant I am, so freaking amazing! I am still being cautious, I have cramping, and ms.klutz that I am, fell down my bff's stairs at her babyshower on Sunday, so I am hoping the pain I have is just from falling and not from losing the baby. But as far as I am concerned and the doctor; I am pregnant, and if anything happens from this point on, I really can't stop it from happening, so enjoy it while I have it. I have made it at a good point as far as my losses are concerned, I will be 7 weeks tomorrow. Yay. :). I have another bloodtest on May 2nd, and also have to do a glucose tolerence test the same day, then I have to get an u/s booked. Will update as I know more :).
Thursday 14 April 2011
Again....Sigh
So,I started getting this annoying cramping, and had some pink staining, nothing that I was to worried about, until yesterday when I lost all of my symptoms and started bleeding and passing clots. Sorry, TMI, I know. But its whats going on. I think it is safe to say, with the amount of pain I am in, that I am miscarrying yet again. I'm kind of numb, I am upset but not...Its hard to explain, maybe because I really don't have time to crawl into a ball and cry my face off? I don't know. We have decided I am going to lose a bunch of weight again and see if I can get my cycles to return without the help of birthcontrol pills. On top of it all it rained then snowed that heavy snow last night, I found it kind of ironic.
Anyhow, have a thyroid appointment today. Just a regular check up for nodulars (Its genetic). I hope that can atleast give me good news.
Anyhow, have a thyroid appointment today. Just a regular check up for nodulars (Its genetic). I hope that can atleast give me good news.
Sunday 10 April 2011
Miracle, Enter Stage Left
So, I had an ultrasound on April 6th, with no expectation to see anything at all, I knew it was way to early, and the ultrasound tech said that it was way to early to see anything. I lied there for nearly an hour while the tech took pictures of every square inch of my uterus. I had an appointment on Saturday with Dr.Moron to get the results, and I was so nervous. I sat there expecting the worst, or for him to tell me there was nothing and that this pregnancy is a write-off....Low and behold; they found a small cluster of cells which indicated that I was 4weeks and 3-6 days within my womb.....I am so relieved. I know that that doesn't mean we are out of the woods, but it does me that there is a pregnancy in there. My doctor is going to repeat the blood work on the 19th and then we are going to book another ultrasound if the numbers are going up.I am getting back spasms though, I assume it is from the progesterone. In the mean time, I am just going to live my life. I have lots of exciting things coming up, hosting my bff's baby shower next weekend, so that's really exciting.
My hubby, father-in-law and son all went on a boys day out yesterday and they took Isaac to go see some classic cars, had lunch, then went to check out the Okotokes Wal-mart (Small town outside of where we live) And Ikey saw the bikes, and convinced his papa, with those supersweet eyelashes and pweeeeese, that he needed a bike. So when hubby came to pick me up from my bff's yesterday he surprised me, and I cried a little, we were going to get Isaac a bike next month due to finances, and now I don't have to worry about it anymore. Still have to get a helmet before we explore with it, but I let him try it out outside yesterday, and I let him sit on it in the house, haha. Pretty neat.
Thursday 7 April 2011
"Pregnancy Limbo" being Pulled Through the Ringer.
So, I am currently in "Pregnancy Limbo", I have no idea if I am viable or not, The doctor threw-in that the Obgyn that he consulted with doesnt think I am having a viable pregnancy due to my progesterone level being so low...???? As far as I know it is really good! so I don't know whether everything is ok or not... I had an ultrasound on Wednesday the 6th, and they didn't see anything, which I knew they wouldn't, I am only 5 weeks pregnant with low bhcg numbers, you need to have a beta of at least 1000 to see even a gestational sack. I don't understand why the doctor isn't running more bhcg tests, but I have decided to go see another Dr. this one is a moron, and though I have known that for years, it is becoming more apparent. Anyhow, let you know as I know.
Thursday 31 March 2011
What the?! Did that really just happen??
So, the weirdest thing happened today. I went to the bathroom thismorning, and as I know I ovulated on the 17th day of my cycle, I have been testing everyday just because I am a pee-on-a-stick addict, and I tested again thismorning. As it has been 13 days past the day I ovulated I guessed I would get a positive test if I were pregnant by now, but I totally did not expect anything, just fooling around. Anyhow, I used a dollar store test from my collection of tests and it was kind of negative, kind of positive, as I have gotten before, because the tests are really bad for evaporation lines, except the second line was purplish like the other line. I have done a zillion of these and have gotten positives before, just to turn to negatives. So I bet on it being a negative test. My hubby saw the test 2 hours later when he got up and said it sure looked positive to him. We went out and ran some errand and picked up a first response early pregnancy test just to see if it would come out positive, not really thinking it would. I asked him if he would let me do it today and he said yes. So I did when we got home....
I can not believe that it was positive, within seconds it was positive! I am extremely cautiously optimistic, I am taking it second by second at this point. I don't think it has really set in yet at this point. I will keep this updated the best I can. :D.
Saturday 19 March 2011
Who knew Ovulation could make someone so happy?
This month we decided to officially try again. I have had a bad few months with messed up cycles and have been on the pill for the last 3 just to level things out, but figured I might as well give it a try, and low and behold, charting my fertility for the last 18 days and I got a nice surprise. I ovulated!!!! On my own, no medication, no help, all by myself!. I still won't know for at least 10 days whether I am pregnant or not, but who cares right now right? Take it step by step and day by day!!! I am very excited and had to share that.
Tuesday 15 March 2011
On The Road Again...to TTC that is
After a 3 month break on the pill and having my first cycle return a few days later after 5 months of non-stop spotting, and no answers; we finally decided we want to have another baby. I have lost 10lbs, I have a goal of 30lbs, just so we can get my cycles back on track. I had a normal cycle and have been using ovulation test sticks since cycle day 9. I am on cycle day 14 now, and still no significant change in the tests. I know with PCOS I will probably ovulate late, but it is still hard on me to never see it positive. I said that if Isaac ever asked me for a brother or sister then we would go all the way and do the fertility meds and tests etc again, and he asked me for a baby, so I am on the ball, lol. I am using the opks right now just to see if I do ovulate at all, not necessarily to get pregnant, I mean, if it happens it happens, but we want to know if it is even still possible for me to even get pregnant again. I am really scared to miscarry again, after all that we went through to have Isaac I just don't know if my body will let me go through it again, or my mind for that matter.
Things are going well here though, finally feeling like spring. We were living in some kind of snowmageddon there for a while, but I can finally see grass on my front yard. Isaac is doing well, speaking articulately, I can almost understand 90% of what he says now. That's all, just needed to update.
Monday 28 February 2011
Surviving the worst pain I have ever had in my life.
It started February 21st at 4:30pm. We had just finished eating spaghetti, a not so much favorite, but easy meal in my family. I started to get this sharp pain in my tooth at the back of my mouth (next to the bottom left wisdom tooth) This tooth is broken, and has been for the last year, mostly a filling that came out that I ignored. I knew it was a tooth ache, and not one that was going to go away. Within an hour I was wailing, this was the worst pain you could ever imagine, it hurt more then when I broke my collarbone when I was 10, it hurt more then the 36 hour labour I had with my first birth, it was worse then pushing Isaac out. I had never experienced pain this severe in my life. During the time I am wailing and screaming, sweating and shaking, my wonderful husband is calling every dentist in the city to see if I can get an emergency visit in. However, today is Family Day in Alberta, and nothing is open, and if it was, it closed at 4....its 6pm by this point. He finally got a hold of someone, but they were in Edmonton and wouldn't be able to do anything until the next morning.....OMG what am I going to do? This dentist suggested going to the hospital. We went to the ER and withing half an hour I was seen at minor treatment where they gave me a shot of marcaine (stronger then lidocaine) which I was told would last 5 hours and a prescription of Percocets. The pain was still there before that though, but it was much less intense, I could feel my face go numb from jaw to lip, it was such a strange sensation. I popped 2 percosets and went to bed. The freezing wore off at 8 am, I was so lucky to get 12 hours of relief so I could sleep. My dentist doesnt open until 11 though, so I still had to wait. And by the time they called they couldn't see me until 1:30pm anyway, omg, I had had enough!! I popped more percs and slept (thank God for husbands on unemployment who don't mind taking over the house)
I finally get to the dentist, and he instantly freezes it. He doesn't know if he has time to pull it, and I may have to make an appointment for tomorrow. But if I didn't mind waiting he could do it in an hour. Well, I have already waiting this long, another hour is not going to make a difference, and at least I was frozen for the time being.
He gets to me, gives me at least 10 more shots of freezing, and I can still kind of feel it, but its more pressure then anything. The x-ray showed that my root nerves were infected all the way down. And hour later, a lot of pulling and breaking, and the tooth is finally out. I was sent on my way home.
Today is 6 days of excruciating pain, when you are finally just done, can no longer do it, can deal anymore, and I have to go back to the dentist.
And so, I have come and gone to the dentist. My Dentist figures I have pretty bad bacterial infection and prescribed a different antibiotic and more ibuprofen, he told me he actually had to cut the gum open when he pulled it. So we wait and see again if this will do the trick.
I finally get to the dentist, and he instantly freezes it. He doesn't know if he has time to pull it, and I may have to make an appointment for tomorrow. But if I didn't mind waiting he could do it in an hour. Well, I have already waiting this long, another hour is not going to make a difference, and at least I was frozen for the time being.
He gets to me, gives me at least 10 more shots of freezing, and I can still kind of feel it, but its more pressure then anything. The x-ray showed that my root nerves were infected all the way down. And hour later, a lot of pulling and breaking, and the tooth is finally out. I was sent on my way home.
Today is 6 days of excruciating pain, when you are finally just done, can no longer do it, can deal anymore, and I have to go back to the dentist.
And so, I have come and gone to the dentist. My Dentist figures I have pretty bad bacterial infection and prescribed a different antibiotic and more ibuprofen, he told me he actually had to cut the gum open when he pulled it. So we wait and see again if this will do the trick.
Wednesday 2 February 2011
January concluded. Randomness
We are slowly getting used to our new house, it creaks a lot. At first I didn`t really like it here, but I am warming up to it. Our downstairs neighbour is nice, I really like her, but there are some things I don`t like about it. I feel guilty every time Isaac thumps on the floor, so I yell at him to walk nice, and no `ribbiting` in the house. ( like frogs yes, ribbit jump)
We just celebrated my goddaughter Alexis`s 3rd birthday on the 23rd of January, Isaac hadn`t seen her since before Christmas, so it was really exciting for him. We had a lot of fun but didn't stay long, Isaac had a bad attitude all day.
Isaac has had a lot of sleep problems since we moved, he says he has monsters in his room, always wants to sleep in the livingroom and never sleeps for more then 7 hrs. He has also stopped taking daily naps. I really don`t know what it is. He has had a bit of an issue with his asthma at night, and we figure the lady downstairs must smoke, even though we live in a smoke free house, we did discuss it with our landlord and she said she would take care of it.
The weather is finally nice here, we had a week of nice weather, then a nasty blizzard, and now it is back to being nice. I enjoy seeing the sunshine.
My bff is 21weeks pregnant, and just found out she is having a boy, after having two girls, we are all really excited for them.
Ok, got all my news out.
Friday 7 January 2011
Gallbladder attack like Satan's hellfire in my stomach!
Oh my goodness. I have never been in so much pain in my life. On Wednesday night, I ate Spagetti and cheese, a handful of regular lays chips, and at 11pm, I felt like I was dying. I kept having to burp, but couldnt. I had this horrible pain just under my ribcage on my right side, and right through to my back. I did not sleep a wink that night, and vomited for 3 hours straight. I finally woke Chris up at 7 to take me to the hospital, but he made it a point that the doctor opened at 9am, and since the ER has been a waiting disaster, waiting to see the DR might be faster. I got an appointment at 11:45, by this time the pain had subsided quite a bit. My doctor poked and proded me, made me cry, did this did that, asked athousand questions, then told me it was likely my Gallbladder. He called it Cholecystitis, basically gallstones in my inflamed gallbladder. I am the right age and the right weight for it to happen. He ran a lot of bloodtests and I have an ultrasound on Monday, but I have to wait for results and such before I know for sure. But I am pretty sure. He gave me some Tylenol #3 and gravol, and the combination of the two make me warm and fuzzy inside. I slept finally, for 14 hours, that was nice after not being able to at all, and I am on a diet of the plain and bland. After not eatting for a whole day my stomach was flat for the first time in years, lol. I cannot eat anything with highfat, or even moderate fat, I have to eat salads and drink fluids. Its good, a good kickstart to a healthier new year.
Anyhow, thats all so far. The pain is still there, but not as predominant as it was before, just a dull ache now. I am feeling somewhat better, but not really.
More to come when I find out more.
Anyhow, thats all so far. The pain is still there, but not as predominant as it was before, just a dull ache now. I am feeling somewhat better, but not really.
More to come when I find out more.
Tuesday 4 January 2011
Moving, and sick.
It has been a really tough month here, December can go straight to he** for all I care. My poor child has been so ill, he had a lung infection, and just as he was getting over it, I got really sick with bronchitis, and he got sick again. We have been dealing with non stop sleeping and fevers. We also moved within all of this. So not only is Ikey dealing with being super sick and sleepy, he is also attempting to adjust to his new surrounding. We also discovered that he is severely allergic to dogs while he was being babysat by his Gramma and Papa. He had a bit of a bad hive reaction on Christmas Day at my parents, but on the 29th of December at his other gma and papa's he because puffy and swollen. We needed to take him to the hospital, even though they didn't do anything, I wanted to be there just in case he went anaphylaxic. The doctor switched him from Benadryl to Clairatin.
I am finally better, I had to take 3 different regimes of medications to find the right combination, I was diagnosed with Bronchial Pneumonia, but my lungs were clear, I just could not catch my breath for the life of me. I am finally better though after I was put on prednisone for 5 days. I feel sorry for people who have to take prednisone for longer then 5 days, they were so hard on my stomach I was on the verge of vomiting every second of the day. '
I haven't been getting much sleep, since Ikey has been sick he seems to whine all night in his sleep, then wake up and want to get up at 3am. I think on average I am getting about 4 hours a night, at least for the last week.
Christmas was nice, we had a nice little family morning, just the three of us, then we went to my in laws for the rest of the morning, then to my dads for the day and dinner, where we ate lasagna, mmmm. I love my parents lasagna. Our new years was uneventful, we had originally had plans to go to a friends house, but because Isaac had such a high fever we decided against it and spent the night at home, asleep before midnight (preparing to be up with the toddler at 3am).
It has been nice to start the new year off in a new house though, much better then living in an apartment, although I do miss it. Adjusting to house heat and water is different, and I find myself cold very often, and having everything in boxes isn't helping either, I can not find ANYTHING in my house, haha. So far so good.
I am finally better, I had to take 3 different regimes of medications to find the right combination, I was diagnosed with Bronchial Pneumonia, but my lungs were clear, I just could not catch my breath for the life of me. I am finally better though after I was put on prednisone for 5 days. I feel sorry for people who have to take prednisone for longer then 5 days, they were so hard on my stomach I was on the verge of vomiting every second of the day. '
I haven't been getting much sleep, since Ikey has been sick he seems to whine all night in his sleep, then wake up and want to get up at 3am. I think on average I am getting about 4 hours a night, at least for the last week.
Christmas was nice, we had a nice little family morning, just the three of us, then we went to my in laws for the rest of the morning, then to my dads for the day and dinner, where we ate lasagna, mmmm. I love my parents lasagna. Our new years was uneventful, we had originally had plans to go to a friends house, but because Isaac had such a high fever we decided against it and spent the night at home, asleep before midnight (preparing to be up with the toddler at 3am).
It has been nice to start the new year off in a new house though, much better then living in an apartment, although I do miss it. Adjusting to house heat and water is different, and I find myself cold very often, and having everything in boxes isn't helping either, I can not find ANYTHING in my house, haha. So far so good.
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