Autumn

The season has changed. It's been 3+ months since Alex's passing. The hardest part is that my step-sister, bless her soul, Is due 2 days sooner then I was, and her pregnancy is chugging right along, she is having a boy as well and she just passed 31 weeks. Its kind of a heartbreaker really, but I can't expect the whole world to stop having babies just because I am a little depressed over something completely out of my control. I am genuinely very happy for her and and boyfriend, they will be awesome parents.
I became an Aunt on September 3rd to my younger brother D and his fiancee T, they had a beautiful little boy named Tristan. Isaac thinks all these babies are pretty cool, he loves pregnant bellies.
I have been getting out more, I had to stop seeing my bestfriend, her life was just to dramatic for me, after 15 years of being by each others side, I noticed that I really don't have many friend, her an I were so close we had no need to have others in our lives, but we have truly grown apart. So I have been opening myself up to other people I haven't spoken to in a long time and that have more in common with me. I re acquainted myself with a Friend from Juniour High school who has a son who is only a year older then Isaac, and an old friend I have actually known since I we were 4, who has an 8 year old daughter and is expecting a second daughter in Jan 2012. Its been really nice to have other people to talk to and relate too. I feel much less alone.

The Decision.
So, we decided we are going to attempt to have another baby. Not to replace Alexander, but to fill the hole of wanting another child. We have both spent a lot of time discussing this and both feel that this is what we want. We are already unofficially trying at this point, we call it "Not trying but not preventing". I have had pretty regular cycles since July but my ovulation pattern is very erratic, some times early, late or not at all. I absolutely hated this part the 4 years prior to Isaac, never knowing for sure, and using kits and temping is so hard on my psyche. If we aren't pregnant by January then we will do all that stuff I suppose, we are really just taking it day by day, wait for Isaac's 3rd birthday to pass and Christmas before we add the stress. I am pretty sure I will be a parent again, I really don't see why not. Anyhow, that's my news. Take care.